A girl I used to know
by Starbuck2085
Summary: Future Fic: Rachel's dreams start to come true. Her and Quinn have not spoken for almost 3 years. Rachel doesn't know why. Quinn quit Yale and moved to London. Will fate make the pairs paths cross again and what will the consequences be for the people they care about the most.
1. Chapter 1

This is my first Faberry fic. If anyone would like to Beta please let me know.

I do not own Glee or any of the characters mentioned.

Chapter 1

"Kurt I'm going to be in wicked... I Rachel Barbara Berry am going to be a leading lady!"

Twenty minutes before those words were spoken Rachel had received the call she had been waiting for her whole life. She had to remember how to breathe before she picked up her phone and called her best friend.

She stood in the window of her apartment overlooking Times Square and screamed down the phone to her best friend as tears freely fell from her eyes. Her heart ached from the sheer joy she felt overwhelming her tiny frame.

Most of her fantasies begun just like this, the call would come, she'd get the lead role in wicked, a year later she would win her Tony for 'Best Actress in a Musical' the following year she would release her debut album which would get her a Grammy, then she would land a guest spot on Greys anatomy which would get her an Emmy and finally she would get the role of Elphaba in the film version of Wicked. She would be an EGOT winner, joining only 14 other people in the world. She felt herself begin to hyperventilate. Finally her dreams were about to become reality.

"Hunny. Breathe" an equally excited yet completely flabbergasted voice spoke back.

"I'm trying Kurt I really am, I spent the last 20 minutes remembering how to use the phone and breathe"

"Rachel I can tell by the fact that you sound like you are about to burst and the fact that your breathing control is completely lacking that this is not some silly prank you're playing on me. So, I need more details from you, when do you start? You are playing Elphaba aren't you? Why did you not tell me you auditioned again?"

"Firstly, I would never joke about something as important as my impending stardom" Rachel takes a deep breath and continues.

"Secondly I'm not sure, I just got the call. I have a meeting with the producers tomorrow so I will know more then. Thirdly, I am of course playing Elphaba and Kurt I am offended that you would even need to ask! Finally I didn't tell you the last 5 times I auditioned, this was the 7th time I auditioned! I just didn't want you to get your hopes up and I didn't want to get mine up either. I've never got a leading role before but I know this is what I am meant to do"

"Well Miss Berry, I'm so happy to see you never lost your crazy determination because look where you are now. Oh my god... My best friend is going to be in WICKED! Oh Rach you'll get discount tickets! I'm coming to see you at least once a week!" Kurt squealed "I can't wait to tell Blaine"

The two friends spoke for a further ten minutes before they said their goodbyes and Rachel rang her other friends to share the news

She rang her fathers who were over the moon at their daughters impending stardom. They couldn't wait to get to come and see her on the big had only had small roles in off broadway shows before but her fathers always made the trip from Lima to see her opening night. They always greeted her with flowers and would take her out for a celebratory meal, usually to Sardis.

She rang Brittany and Santana who were beyond happy for the tiny diva. Since moving to New York they had become great friends. The pair now lived in New York where Brittany worked as a choreographer and Santana had just started training with the NYPD.

Finally she called Shelby. Just over a year ago Shelby had come back into the divas life. At first Rachel had been sceptical about the relationship but slowly they built up a friendship and Shelby helped Rachel prepare for auditions. In return Rachel would look after Beth on Friday evening giving Shelby a night to herself. The pair had become extremely close and Rachel thoroughly enjoyed the time they spent together. Fridays usually consisted of pyjamas, ice cream and a musical DVD. It was shocking how alike her and Beth were.

Since high school Kurt and Rachel had been best friends. Things were rough for the first few months after Rachel moved to New York and Kurt was distant. He was unable to get over the fact that their dreams of going to NYADA together were not going to come true. After the first semester, Kurt packed up his bags and moved to new York. He lived in a small run down apartment block forty minutes away from the city but made the journey into Times Square at least once a day to see the names in bright lights and remind himself why he was there.

It's been 3 years since he moved to new York and he currently works at Ellen's Stardust diner and takes evening classes to improve in any aspect of his trade whenever he can. He's been in a total of three off broadway shows each lasting no longer then six months but each one made him more sure that this is what he wants to do.

Rachel finished NYADA having played the lead role in none of their 6 college productions. This did dishearten the diva slightly but she would simply lift her head up and carry on to the next project making sure she gave it 110%. Over the past 2 summers she had some small roles in off broadway productions and picked up a few shifts at Ellen's with Kurt.

Before moving to New York Rachel had visited with her dads. As a treat for their final night they took her to see Wicked and Ellen's for dinner. Rachel instantly fell in love with the place. Her waitress Carmen sang Defying Gravity at her request and the two chatted excitedly. Carmen had just finished a years run playing in the ensemble at the Gershwin. Rachel was in awe of the woman stood before her and the two talked about their love of the show. Rachel told Carmen that one day she would be Elphaba. "I don't doubt it kid, just make sure you get me opening night tickets!" Rachel beamed "Of course!" Rachel asked for Carmen's autograph as she left "Of course dear, and of course I also need yours. It'll be worth a fortune in years to come!" Rachel got out a gold pen and signed the napkin 'Rachel Barbara Berry'

Adding her customary gold star above the y.

Rachel fondly remembers the day not long after when Carmen became Elphaba in the Los Angeles production of wicked.

Briefly Rachel let her mind wander to the one person she wanted to call and share her news with. The person who pushed her to where she is today. The person who just left her life with no explanation and a plea to never make contact again. As the tears began to fall she smiled through the frown and opened her wardrobe. Time to pick out the perfect outfit for tomorrow and get to bed. She took out a knee length black dress, green belt and matching green 4inch heels. She set her outfit out on a chair by her dresser, got in bed and with one final thought of the person she tried so hard to forget, let sleep take over her body.


	2. Chapter 2

This is my first Faberry fic. If anyone would like to Beta please let me know.

I do not own Glee or any of the characters mentioned.

Chapter 2

"Quinn is that you?" came a very distinct north London accent.

Quinn was hidden away in the corner of her local Starbucks reading over a script for her latest role 'Blonde 2' She looked up at the women stood before her. The 5'8 brunette smirked at her with a knowing look.

Quinn felt like a deer caught in headlights. "Erm Helena hey," the blonde blushed "It's been a while..." she trailed off.

"Yes it has," the brunette replied "so how are things with you?"

"Good still attending audition after audition in the day and keep the drinks flowing by night," She smiled "And how are you? You still working at the Royal Court?" Quinn was impressed with herself at remembering where the women works or at least used to.

"No not any more, not for the past 4 months. I've been working at the Apollo Victoria as stage manager there, finally got my dream job in Oz," She beamed.

Quinn's mind wandered to another brunette who once dreamed of Oz. She smiled at Helena "That's amazing Helena I'm so happy for you."

"Listen Quinn I've got to get going, but I don't know, maybe you want to have a proper catch up... Maybe over dinner?"

"That sounds great erm I'll call you to arrange," The blonde wanted to decline but felt she had no excuse to give.

"Great," the brunette said as she left "The numbers the same," she paused for a moment "Actually I'm sure you must have lost it and that's why I have never heard from you. I'll send you a text."

Quinn blushed and smiled timidly "Yes totally, speak soon," She smiled and waved as the women left the coffee shop.

Almost 2 years ago at the end of her first year at Yale Quinn realised that she needed more from her life. She didn't feel she had a purpose. Something was missing. She felt herself suffocating by the facade she called her life. She found herself drifting aimlessly through life. The only thing that meant anything to her was the happiness of her friend who had no idea how much she meant to her.

When she was with Rachel it was the only time she felt content. During the first 4 months of college the pair had seen each other monthly alternating there visits. They became the best of spoke daily but Quinn could see what was happening. She was becoming dependent on Rachel without the diva even realising it. She would count down the days until she would be reunited with her.

She saw the passion and determination Rachel had in her career, in her future, and it made her envy the girl. It made her want to do anything within her power to make Rachel's dreams come knew that in order for Rachel to achieve her dreams she needed to stay away from her. She needed to not be the one to drag her down. She was finally free of Finn and Quinn didn't know how much longer she could spend with Rachel without her realising how much she meant to her.

On the 5th month Quinn was due to go to New York to see Rachel but never made it.

That was the day that Quinn admitted to herself that she was helplessly in love with Rachel Berry. She realised she could not spend another day with her without saying exactly how much she meant to her. So she took the cowards way out and simply cut Rachel out of her life. Telling herself that she was doing it for Rachel. It was the best thing for her.

Rachel had called Quinn numerous times but never got an answer. She send the Diva an email the evening she was meant to arrive in New York.

Dear Rachel

I'm sorry that I wasn't brave enough to do this in person but I'm not like you, I'm not brave.

I need you to do something for me and I know I don't deserve to ask anything of you but I need you to not try and contact me. I need you to forget about me. I mean this Rachel. Shine bright.

Love always,

Quinn

After she cut off contact with Rachel, Quinn knew she needed to find herself, she needed to find her own dreams.

And that's how Quinn found herself living in London. She worked as an actress in Small Film & TV roles by day and served alcohol to the lesbians of London by night.

Another thing that came with moving to London was Quinn finally coming to terms with her sexuality. She moved to London, found somewhere to live started an acting class which is where she met Tracey. Tracey was a bubbly, tall blonde who reminded her greatly of Brittany. She introduced herself to Quinn in the most bizarre of ways.

"Hi I'm Tracey I'm a lesbian, who are you?"

Quinn was taken back by the bluntness of the blonde, "Erm Quinn, nice to meet you."

"So Quinn are you a lesbian?"

Quinn was shocked by the question what sort of person asks such a question to a complete stranger she thought.

"Well I guess, I mean, I am... Well what I'm trying to say is... yes I'm a lesbian."

Quinn is sure that she will remember that moment for the rest of her life at that moment she felt like the world had been lifted from her shoulders she was finally free to be exactly who she was meant to be.

"That's cool, you need a job?"

"No I'm fine I'm not into... Well I don't think..."

"Relax I'm not asking you to star in some porno... that is what your thinking isn it?" Tracy stayed straight faced the whole time

"Well..."

"I'm asking if you'd like a bar job in Soho. Straight up, I mean there are poles but you're not required to perform on them... Well unless you want to."

A few days later, Quinn stood outside of the small bar in Soho 'Candy Bar' written across door. She smiled at the irony and 2 years later she's still working there. A favourite with the ladies. She knows she could get another job but she's made lots of friends there and the tips are crazy.

That's how she met Helena. Helena was a regular on Saturday nights. They knew each other by sight and occasionally flirted with one another.

Six months ago Helena had asked Quinn out on a date. She'd agreed and they spent a Sunday afternoon at the National Gallery and an evening out for dinner. Quinn had walked Helena to the tube station. Told her she'd had a nice time and she'd call. Quinn never did call and until today she hadn't seen helena in 6 months.

The main reason Quinn never saw Helena again was because she couldn't see herself being with anyone for more than one night. She had a strict one date rule. No attachment. It had always worked for her in the past. But maybe it was time to make a change. Of all the dates she'd been on the one with Helena did stand out in her mind as her favourite.

Rachel was the girl of her dreams and that was all she was ever going be. Quinn knew Rachel would have finished NYADA now and probably settling into her first broadway role living her dreams. Quinn could never stand in the way of that and she couldn't see her life being anywhere but London. London Quinn was the only Quinn she knew how to be anymore and the only Quinn she had any desire to be. Here she could finally be herself. She took out her phone, looked through her contacts until she found the contact she was looking for. It was time. She took a deep breath and pressed call.

"Hello?"

"Hi Helena. It's Quinn."

"Quinn I really didn't expect to hear from you?"


	3. Chapter 3

This is my first Faberry fic. If anyone would like to Beta please let me know.

I do not own Glee or any of the characters mentioned.

Chapter 3

Rachel felt light headed she didn't know what to do, she wasn't even sure how she ended up at Shelby's apartment. She walked up the three floors and knocked on the door. Resting her hands on either side of the door frame she took deep breaths trying to calm herself. She waited a few minutes before Shelby opened the door to greet her, dressed in sweat pants with a tea towel over her shoulder.

"Rachel..." Shelby was surprised to see her unexpected guest. She was quickly cut off by a bouncy 5 year old.

"Rachel, Rachel, Rachel!" shouted the tiny blonde as she tackled the diva bringing her back to reality.

Rachel looked down at the hyper child and scooped her up into her arms.

"Bethy it's so good to see you" she cooed as she cuddled the girl tightly before putting her down and setting her free to run back into the apartment.

Shelby looked at Rachel confused and gave a reassuring smile before gestured for her to come in. The pair made the way over to the living room and sat beside one another on the sofa as the child sat at the other side of the room playing with her toys.

"Rachel, are you ok?"

"I... I... I'm..I'm leaving..." Rachel finally got out.

"what do you mean you're leaving? You just got here!" Shelby asked confused.

"I mean I'm leaving new york."

"But what, why, what about wicked, you just..." Rachel cut her off.

"It's because of wicked. They offered me the role of Elphaba but there's a catch, before I can perform at the Gershwin they want me to do a year in the west end, I'm moving to London!" Rachel felt tears prickle her eyes. She let a sob escape and Shelby took the younger girl in her arms, stroking the young women's back trying to calm her.

"Shhh Rachel it will be ok, it's just a year you'll come back."

"I know and I feel so ungrateful but I'm going to miss Beth so much, I've only just become part of her life I'll be gone or over a year she'll forget me!"

"She'll never forget you Rachel she adores you, you're her favourite person in the world, she talks about you non stop. You're her idol... You're her Barbara!" the brunettes smiled at one another "And maybe if you'd like maybe we can come over and visit you? I mean, Beth needs to see her idols debut as a leading lady!"

"You'd do that, for me?" Rachel gave a huge smile

"Of course I would. I'd do that for both of you and of course for me too I can't miss my soon to be favourite EGOT winners first show!"

Rachel wrapped her arms around Shelby's middle and let her head rest on her shoulder. "Thank you Shelby it means so much to me."

Beth saw the two hugging and quickly made her way over not wanting to miss out on the hug, Rachel let go off Shelby with one arm letting Beth settle in between the two of them.

"I love you Rachy" Beth said giving Rachel a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Shelby got up and put in the 'Funny Girl' DVD without saying a word. Rachel and Beth beamed at one another and Rachel lifted her arm to let Beth settle in beside her.

The world problems drifted away as Barbara streisand performed her magic.

"Rachel, Rach, Rachel Barbara is on the phone!"

"What!" Rachel jumped from the sofa peering around the room and realising Beth was no longer beside, her shoes where off and she was wrapped in a blanket.

"Sorry Hunny, you fell asleep halfway though the film. I couldn't wake you."

"You slept straight through it's seven am. Beth is sat in the kitchen waiting to share her cereal with you."

"Thank you" Rachel said as she got up and made her way to the kitchen to join Beth.

The two ate breakfast together and Rachel offered to drop Beth off at school on her way home. Shelby gratefully accepts and Rachel and Beth head off together hand in hand.

Rachel loves spending time with Beth and the only reservation she had about going to London was because she was going to miss her so much. Her other friends and family would visit but she wasn't sure that Shelby would be willing to take Beth halfway around the world. Knowing she would come to visit had made her decision a lot easier.

She couldn't be unhappy after spending time with the small blonde. It was funny how much Beth looks like Quinn. When she first met Beth she found herself trying to keep her distance from her. She's sure Shelby thinks it's because she sees Beth as her replacement, but since she's been reunited with Shelby she's never felt that way. She no longer felt the abandoned by Shelby, she saw exactly what Shelby had done, the sacrifice she had made to ensure that Rachel's fathers got the child they so greatly desired. Rachel loved her parents dearly and couldn't have asked for a more loving upbringing. She saw Shelby as her friend and a mentor these days and

Rachel was more happy with that than she ever thought possible.

The reason she struggled being around Beth initially was because of how much the child looked like Quinn. She had beautiful golden locks and piercing hazel eyes. She even had the same smile. It was a year after Quinn left her life that Beth entered it and seeing the girl brought so many memories back that she'd tried to forget.

It hurt Rachel greatly that Quinn had just left her life so harshly, so unexpectedly. She actually thought that they had finally become friends. Close to best friends. They talked all the time and she looked forward to her trips to New Haven and Quinns trips to New York.

When she received the email from Quinn she did as requested and didn't try to contact her. After that day she cried endlessly for days not knowing what she had done wrong. For months she waited for Quinn to contact her. Six months later she tried to call Quinn's cell only to get a 'number not in use' message. She called Quinn's dorm and was told she no longer lived there. Wherever Quinn was she clearly didn't want Rachel to know and that's when Rachel knew she needed to let go of Quinn Fabray. So when Beth arrived she was scared but soon she saw that Beth was not Quinn, just an amazing little girl she was blessed to have in her life. It did sadden her that Quinn didn't know her because she knew exactly how much the child meant to Quinn. She did hope that for Beth and Quinn's sake that at some point they would get to know one another.

Rachel calls her Dads to break the news to them of her impending move to london. They where ecstatic for Rachel and super excited for a summer trip to England.

Rachel send text messages to Kurt, Blaine, Brittany and Santana and asked them to meet her or dinner that evening.

'Dearest friends, I request your presence tonight at Sardis, 7pm sharp. It's of upmost importance you are there, I have important news for you all. Love RBB'

The group sat around after a lovely dinner together

"So spit it out, when will we get to see you on stage at the Gershwin?" kurt asked

"Yes Midget, hopefully the stage is high enough so we can see you from the audience!" Santana smirked.

"Be nice San, you love Rachel, don't try and deny it!" Brittany said grabbing Santana's hand.

"So come on Rachel when?" Blaine asked with a big smile.

"Well that's why you're all here tonight. I will be making my debut as Elphaba in a little over 3 months. However it's not quite as expected, I will not be making my debut at the Gershwin. I will be making my debut at The Apollo Victoria in London's West End where I will be working for a year"


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

Quinn stood in her bathroom fixing her hair in the mirror. Her hair mirrors that of her 17 year old self, just above shoulder length. Her make up was minimal yet flawless.

She was nervous about her date with Helena. At almost 22 this was to be the first date she had with the hope of it becoming something more than just a one time thing.

Helena was a beautiful woman with long curly brown hair and big brown eyes...exactly Quinn's type. Quinn's type? She's wasn't even sure if she had a type! Maybe she just had a fixation on anyone who could pass for Rachel Berry from across the street! The heartbreaking truth to Quinn was that no one could pass for Rachel Berry from across the street. She knew none of these women would even rate in comparison to Rachel Berry.

That realisation scared Quinn. Helena reminded her a lot of Rachel, not only in her appearance, but in the way that she always seems so bubbly, full of life and generally just a nice person to be around. She wouldn't want to hurt Helena and that's how she knows her feelings for her are different from the other girls. She felt like she could trust Helena and cares enough about her to take down her barriers and risk her heart.

She also knew that it's time to move on with her life. She knew that she needs to move on from her fixation with Rachel and start to live her life for herself.

Quinn sat nervously in the restaurant and wasn't aware of Helena as she arrived, smiling and making her way towards her.

"Hi," Quinn greeted with a gleeful smile.

"Hi to you too, I'm glad you called!"

"I'm glad you agreed to meet me," she said honestly.

"Who could turn down a date with someone as beautiful and intriguing as the exquisite Quinn Fabray!" the brunette took her seat facing Quinn.

"I'm not sure about that but thank you for the compliment I think. I'm honestly flattered that you're giving me the pleasure of your company."

Helena blushed and picked up her menus "So what's good here?"

The two women chatted easily and over dinner Quinn discoved that Helena loved art and loved to paint. She had a small exhibit planned for the winter and hoped that Quinn would come and see it. Helena loved her job and had wanted to work as a stage manager since she was 12. She discovered that no matter how much you live to sing and dance if you're tone deaf you're never going to make it to broadway. She had still attended drama groups and sang for fun but worked more on behind the scenes from sets to lighting to finally stage management. She lived for her job. She loved the variety that each day held and the buzz she got at the end of each show knowing her hard work had paid off.

Quinn told Helena about her high school days, how she had been a bitch but had hopefully turned that around by the end. She had tried her best to make it up to the people she hurt. She confessed to slushy attacks, to name calling and bullying and how joining glee club will forever be one of the best decisions she'd ever made in her life. Although she didn't see them anymore or know what most of them were up to, the original glee kids would always be her family.

She didn't tell Helena about Beth. Although the getting knocked up and giving your baby away discussion wasn't usually first date conversation, she couldn't help feeling guilty about talking about her high school self without mentioning the one person who had made her change for the better. The one person other then Rachel who invaded her thoughts daily. She wondered if Beth was blonde, did she like to sing, was she bubbly, was she happy. The only thing she could be sure of was that beth was loved by her, by puck, by Shelby and most definitely by anyone else who had entered the little girl's life. How could she not know who the important people where in Beth's life. That thought made her sad.

"Quinn...Quinn are you ok? You just zoned out for a minute," Helena asked looking confused.

"sorry just reliving my youth," she replied with a weak smile.

"Want to share?"

"Maybe some other time?"

"Sure... So there will be another time?" she smiled at the blonde.

"I think that's a high possibility... I mean well if that's what you want of course?"

"I think I'd like that, as much as I hate to say this I need to get over to Victoria" Helena looked genuinely sad that she had to leave and Quinn felt as though she didn't want Helena to leave which was another first for her she looked for moments like this usually. Ways to escape without hurting anyones feelings.

"No worries, I need to get to work anyway but I've had a lovely day. Maybe if you're free after the show you could come over to the bar later?... I'll buy you a drink."

"Why miss Fabray, I believe you have twisted my arm," with that Helena leaned over and placed a gentle peck on Quinn's lips. Nothing heavy or possessive, the kiss simply said 'maybe more' and with that she walked away leaving a smiley blonde in her wake.

Quinn made it to work with plenty time to kill so she sat in the bar reading over her script some more.

"Hey Q can I buy you a drink?" a redhead purred into her ear.

"No thanks you know I don't drink on duty," she replied with a smile.

"shame!" the woman said as she walked way.

Tracey sat down next to Quinn. Tracey was the first friend Quinn made when she moved to London. It's hard to imagine how life would be if she had never met Tracey that day.

"So Fabray, why are you here so early?" she enquired suspiciously.

"If you must know I've just been out for dinner with Helena."

"Wow, that back on is it. You bang her yet?" Quinn laughed. Tracey was as bubbly and crazy as Brittany with the crudeness of Santana, she was the 2 combined. Quinn thinks that's why she found herself so drawn to Tracey and they easily fell into their friendship.

"I went out with her once about 6 months ago and just to clarify there was no 'banging' on either occasion!" Quinn said mater of factly.

"Aww sorry Fabray sure she'll give you some soon," Tracey said with a wink.

Knowing full well Tracey wasn't gonna let it go anytime soon Quinn swiftly changed conversation.

"So why are you here so early not like you to be on time for work."

"Ohh fiesty Fabray, I like it."

"I had an audition in town so thought I may as well come in early."

"What was it for?"

"Ensemble in Wicked."

Quinn smiled at the girl "great" she said as she got up change to her work shirt.

Wicked was plaguing her mind at the minute. Every time she thought of the musical she couldn't help but remember Rachel's face, the first time they had seen it together, or the way that she sobbed through 'for good'. She always held onto Quinn's hand for dear life even though she'd seen the show so many times. Seeing Rachel's reaction to the story made her heart ache in a good way. In a 'how can you be so adorable? I want to keep you forever and hold you until the end of time' kind of way!

So it didn't help that Helena worked on the show. She felt bad but selfishly hoped that her best friend didn't get the part as there was no way she could face seeing it again.

Her night flew by until at eleven pm Helena strolled though the door and sat herself at the end of bar.

Quinn carried on working making her way through the customers until she got to Helena.

"Hi what can I get for you?" she said with a big grin.

"Erm I don't think you can give me what I want right now, so just give me a vodka and coke" she said with a suggestive smirk.

Quinn made her drink and smirked as she placed it on a napkin in front of her. She continued working for the next hour until she was told she could leave early. The whole night she could feel Helena's eyes on her. She couldn't deny that it felt good to hold her attention. She got a lot of attention from women working in the bar but none that she wanted or needed. Something about the way Helena watched her from afar made her body buzz with excitement.

She headed into the back room changed her shirt then made her way over to Helena.

"Ready to go?" she asked, flashing her mega watt smile.

"let's stay for a few" Helena said taking Quinn's hand and leading her over to the couch in the corner of the poorly lit room. A few minutes later, 4 shots of sambuka and 2 cocktails were placed in front of them.

Quinn knew exactly what Tracey was doing. She knew full well that Quinn was a touchy freely drunk and clearly thought Quinn needed to loosen up a bit and get laid.

The pair drank their drinks and talked more about life. How Helena's dream was to one day own her own theatre company and how she wanted to do more with her art work. Quinn said she was just waiting for her big acting break to come. She was content with her life at the moment and was happy to take each day as it came.

"You wanna dance?" Helena asked as she stood

"Sure," Quinn said as she's dragged to her feet.

The girls made it one single step before Quinn felt the blood rush to her head and the room begin to spin. she would regret the sambuka tomorrow that's for sure.

Helena took Quinn's hand and attempted to steady her. The girls laughed and Quinn fell back onto the seat pulling Helena with her. Helena landed in Quinn's lap and the two laughed uncontrollably until Quinn felt Helena's fingernails rake over the back of her neck. She suddenly felt her head begin to sober as the alcohol coursed through her body.

She looked up to see Helena staring back at her and when she saw the brunette leaning in she couldn't stop her body from doing the same. She let her hand explore Helena's back as their lips meet in a hungry mess. Quinn felt Helena's lips moving against her own and opened her mouth letting Helena in and deepening the kiss. She swiped her tongue at Helena lips and felt Helena moan into the kiss. Quinn couldn't help her body's reaction as she moved her hands over Helena's body. The pair stay this way for what seem like an eternity changing the speed of their kisses, slowing right down so their lips were barely touching before speeding back up to fight for dominance.

"Hello, ... Quinn,...Bitch you better stop getting it on and get out of here before I smack your American arse!"

"Hmm... Wha... Humm" Quinn broke away from the kiss leaving a disappointed pouting Helena. She looked past the pouting brunette currently straddling her to see a smirking blonde. She looked around to see that there was no one else left in the bar except for the 3 of them.

"You two horny bitches need to leave now. I have a home to go to," Tracey said as she pointed to the door.

"sorry trace. Love you, see you tomorrow?" Quinn said as she dragged a very drunk brunette to the door.

"Where do you live helena?" Quinn asked as she got the girl outside. The pair made their way towards trafalgar square to find their night busses.

"In a house...on a street in...Landan tawwn"

"Great" Quinn laughed suddenly feeling very sober. With no other obvious option she took Helena home with her. They finally made it through the door just after three am. She was aware of this as when she finally got Helena into her bed, pulled her shoes off and covers her up, she checked the time before heading to the bathroom it was 3.14. She changed into joggers and a t shirts and made her way over to the sofa. She closed her eyes and smiled.

'Tonight was a good night!' she sighed as she finally let her body give in to sleep.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The last week had been the busiest week for Rachel as she planned her move London. Luckily Wicked had sorted out all of Rachel's travel arrangements and had paid for her to stay at St Martins Lane hotel for her first 3 months in London. This would give Rachel enough time to get settled and find somewhere to live.

In the last week she had spent as much time as possible with Beth. Shelby had agreed that she could stay with Rachel for a few nights before she left and Rachel had been so happy to spend the time with her favourite 5 year old. Beth was sad that Rachel was going to be going away for a while but super excited that she would get to go on an plane to visit Rachel during the holidays.

The night before she left for London she had dinner with her friends, Shelby and Beth. All of whom the next day, took her to the airport and waved her off.

The flight was 7 hours long and she arrived in London at eleven am. She collected her bags and headed to the hotel. Just around he corner from leicester square, the hotel didn't look like much from the outside but inside the flawless decor and impeccable cleanliness made Rachel happy. She quickly checked in and was escorted to her suite. She dropped her bags on the floor and dove on the bed. She took a big sigh; tomorrow was the day she was going to meet the cast and crew.

Rachel stood nervously at the side of the Apollo Victoria. She looked up at the posters on the side of the building and the green lighting overhead. She took a step back, took a deep breath and took in the moment. Her dreams were coming true.

"Rachel is it?"

"Hi yes, yes it is," she said smiling at the brunette stood before her.

"Hi I'm Helena," the brunette said as she extended her hand to Rachel. " I'm part of the stage management team, looking forward to working with you."

"It's nice to meet you Helena." Rachel said, taking the brunette's hand in her own and shaking it.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes I'm fine, just nervous and excited. And in shock that I'm actually here and about to start my first day at wicked!"

"I'm newish too so don't worry. Everyone is great, you're gonna love it. I know it's daunting going in there knowing no one, but that's not the case now as you know me! Shall we?" She said indicating towards the door.

"We shall!" Rachel said with a bright smile. Happy to have made a friend.

Helena took Rachel into the stage door and introduced her to the person manning the door and showed her where to sign in.

"You're a little early. Actually you're an hour early! Do you want a quick tour before the meeting starts? It looks like it's only us here so far."

"If you don't mind? I would love a tour. I don't want to put you out though. I'm sure you must have lots of things to do?"

"Not really. Well lots of things to do but nothing that can't wait. My job is making sure the show runs as smoothly as possible. I'm sure a key part of that is having a happy, relaxed leading lady."

"Thank you Helena."

Helena took Rachel around the theatre showing her where the dressing rooms were, the costume room, the prop room, the defying gravity lift and many more rooms that Rachel would surely forget.

At 9.50 the pair headed to the green room where Rachel would be meeting with the cast and crew. Helena sat beside Rachel and introduced her to the crew members that had already arrived. Once the other new principles arrived the meeting proceeded with ease. Conversation flowed easily. Rehearsals were to begin in 2 days time and everyone was encouraged to get to know one another before then. The rehearsal schedule was gruelling. Rachel would be rehearsing from 8-6 5 days a week for the next 3 months. For the next month her training would be individually catered to her needs. In a months time she would spend 5 hours a day with Olivia who would be playing Glinda and 3 hours working with the rest of the cast.

Rachel was excited. She knew it was going to be tough but she was determined to make the most of this opportunity and make everyone proud of her.

At lunch Rachel, Helena, Olivia and a few other cast members went to a local bar for lunch. The atmosphere was nice and conversation flowed easily. She learned that Olivia had just finished a run as Christine in Phantom of the Opera. All the others had been in shows previous to this, they all seemed a little shocked that Rachel would be making her debut as Elphaba. They all seemed excited about the prospect of hearing Rachel sing. Helena suggested they all go to a karaoke bar later that evening as they wouldn't get much chance to do things like this once rehearsal kicked in.

After dinner they made it back to the theatre and were given their final rehearsal schedule before being able to go home.

Helena had been given the afternoon off as well so a group of 6 including Rachel, Olivia and Helena made their way over to Leicester square to have a few drinks and get to know one another. The group soon became acquainted, conversation started light but the group soon relaxed in each others company. Later that evening they made their way to a karaoke bar. Each one sang in turn. Everyone was amazing and it made Rachel a little nervous about her performance.

"So what you gonna sing Rachel?" Troy, who would be playing Fiyero asked.

"You'll see. It's my party piece!"

Rachel whispered into the djs ear and as the intro began to set in she took centre stage and all eyes settled on the diva.

"Don't tell me not to live,

Just sit and putter,"

Rachel belted out the song just like she had done so many times before. She felt the music and gave the performance her all. As she approached the final line she looked around her to see her new friends look at her in awe.

"Nobody, no, nobody

Is gonna rain on my !"

The room erupted in cheers. Rachel blushed and took a bow, before rejoining her new friends.

"Rachel Berry you are a superstar!" Helena said hugging the tiny diva.

After the karaoke everyone said there goodbyes and Helena offered to walk Rachel back to her hotel. As the pair walked Rachel spoke,

"Thank you for today Helena, you made my first day really enjoyable. I was really worried I'd be lonely and make no friends, but you took me under your wing and made me feel like I belong here, thank you."

"You big softy. It was nothing Rachel really, I'm glad I could be of service and I'm glad you've had a good first day!"

"Also thanks for walking me back."

"No worries, I'm heading this way anyway. I'm going to meet a friend in soho."

"Oh a friend, I see" Rachel teased "Well I hope he... or she treats you well!" Rachel had a feeling Helena was a lesbian but didn't want to assume.

"She's, doing good so far. Still early days. She's American too, I think she'd like you. You should come meet her. There will be a few people there and before you say anything you wouldn't be intruding."

"Thanks for the offer and definitely another time. I'm just tired and need to get to bed early. Plus, I have a phone call to make to New York before someone heads to school!"

"Ok, well have a nice evening. Hope you get lots of rest and I'll see you the day after tomorrow."

"You too. Hope you have a nice evening with your... Friend, " she says as she walks through the hotel entrance.

Once Rachel got to her room she turned on the taps of her huge bath, poured in some bubble bath and stripped her clothes off throwing them into her wash basket. As she submerged into the water she felt her limbs relax. Jet lag was a bitch. As she relaxed into the bubbles she played the day over in her head.

She had truly had an amazing first day of work. Everyone had been lovely. She was excited to work with Olivia and she just knew that Helena and her were going to have a great friendship. It was funny how you can meet someone and in a matter of minutes you know in some capacity, that person is going to make an impact on your life. She just knew that her and Helena were going to have an amazing friendship!

It's funny how Helena sort of reminded her of herself. Helena had confessed that until she was 12, her and Rachel's dreams had mirrored one another. Until she discovered that no mater how many singing lessons she had she was never going to be a professional. Rachel was sad for Helena, she couldn't imagine realising your dreams were never going to come true. She could see that Helena had obviously made new dreams and that made her happy. She was thankful for the natural talent she'd been given that was about to make her dreams come true.

After getting dried and into her night gown,she made a quick call to Beth.

"Hi Rachie," Beth squealed.

"Hi sweetie, how'd you know it was me?"

"Mommy said you where gonna call me to tell me all about your first day in your new job. Did you sing lots of songs?"

"Not today Beth but I will do soon, I did sing 'don't rain on my parade' after work though with some new friends I made."

"I'm glad you made new friends Rachel and I'm really sad I missed out on seeing you sing my favourite song."

"I'll tell you what, when you come visit I promise that me and you will sing it together although we both know my talent is far inferior to yours Bethie!"

"Really Rachel you are the greatest, I have to go now, I need to go to school, but I will speak to you soon!"

"Bye Beth, love you!"

"Bye Rachie, I love you too."

Rachel spoke to Shelby briefly about her day, they said their goodbyes and Rachel sent a group message to her Dads, Brittany, Santana, Kurt and Blaine. Telling them about her day and letting them now she was ok.

She settled into bed and let her mind drift to the place it always did before sleep. She sighed as she envisioned those piercing hazel eyes looking at her and that smile that melted her heart.

_Thank you for your follows, DMs and reviews :-)_

_I did have the whole thing planned out but I seems to be expanding :-S _


	6. Chapter 6

_Thanks to gllover22 for your PM :-) i shall try my best to update more frequently._

_I shall try for at least a chapter a week and will post the next one tomorrow :-)_

Chapter 6

It had been a week since Quinn and Helena's date.  
The morning after Helena had been embarrassed that she'd gotten so drunk. The pair had shared a breakfast together and both women has assured the other that they had a good time the day before.

The women had exchanged text messages throughout the week but had not seen each other since the morning after their date day. Tonight they had arranged to meet in Soho for drinks with Tracey and a few mutual was already there with her friends and Helena was coming to meet her after she finished work.

Quinn and Tracey stood among the group of 12 women.

"So you honestly expect me to believe nothing happened with you two last week?" the bubbly women probed.

"Why would I lie? She stayed in my bed I slept on the couch we were both too drunk for anything more, and I don't want to screw this up, I want to get to know her and not just have another meaningless hook up... I think maybe this could go somewhere." Quinn gushed out. She couldn't stop herself from talking about Helena. She couldn't refuse the smile that forced its way across her face.

"Wow, who are you and what have you done to my best friend?" the girl smiled shocked at the admission "You really do like her uh?"

"I really do Trace, I don't really know what's happening. I've never felt this way before, I know it sounds corny but I've been thinking about her all week. I think this could go somewhere."

"Aww my little Quinnie all grown up! I'm so proud of you! Also defo gotta be your chief bridesmaid! Or best woman!"

"Ok Trace lets just calm down a minute!" Quinn gestured with her hands that the conversation was to come to an end.

"So have you had any auditions this week?"

"A few nothing to scream about. I've got a few jobs lined up for next week. Prostitute 3 in the Les Mis film and woman on the bus in Eastenders, exciting times and I also got a call back for Wicked. Got my audition the day after tomorrow, maybe your girl can give me some pointers?" the blonde said hopefully.

"Yes Maybe." Quinn forced a smile "I'm happy for you Trace I hope you get your break you deserve it." Quinn said sincerely.

Just like that Quinn's happy demeanour changed as her mind wandered to the place it had visited much less this last week. Rachel Berry. Quinn wondered if Rachel had made it on broadway. She truly hoped that all the divas dreams had come true. She hoped she'd graduated top of her class and walked into a broadway role. Hopefully Wicked. She knew that Rachel has the talent but she's also not delusional and is fully aware just how difficult it is to get your big break. She just hopes in her heart that Rachel will be one of the lucky ones.

"Quinn... Quinn!..." the brunette gives up and places a soft lingering kiss on the blondes lips. That soon brings Quinn back to reality.

"Helena?" Quinn lifts her head back to see big brown eyes looking back at her.

"Hey you, were you daydreaming again, I said your name a few times, but thought I'd try a different approach." Helena said nervously a pink blush creeping over her face.

Quinn smiled at her and captured Helena's lips in another kiss this time a little more forceful and claiming. Unlike the delicate kiss Helena gave her a minute before. "Sorry was just thinking, and by all means feel free to use that method of distraction whenever you see fit." Quinn smirked pulling the girl closer into her embrace. She placed a chaste kiss on the her lips one more time before taking her hand and lead her to the sofa next to them where many of their friends where gathered.

"Lovely chatting to you too Quinn!" Tracey shouted over to her from the place Quinn just vacated. Clearly pissed off at being ignored.

"Shit Trace, I'm sorry my mind just took a wander. Come sit with us?" she asked flashing her super innocent smile. Hoping it would be enough for her friend to forgive her.

As Quinn and Helena shared the sofa Tracey sat on a chair beside Quinn.

"Helena, Tracey has a recall for wicked. Have you got any insider tips for her?" she said trying to get back in her friends good books.

"Just be yourself hun and you'll do brill. Obviously you had something they like or you wouldn't have asked you back. Just give it your best shot and enjoy yourself." she smiles at Tracey.

"Thanks Helena, Im not holding my breath but we'll see."

"In 3 months you could be working with me. I met the new principles today they are amazing. The new Elphaba is phenomenal. Literal voice to die for!" she looked over at Quinn "And she's American, you'd love her! She's really nice too. Really down to earth. To be honest not what i was expecting at all. You know when you meet someone and you just know your gonna be great friends? Well that's what happened when I met her. Anyway sorry for getting side tracked there! I really hope you get the role Tracey and of course i'll put in a good word for you."

Quinn stood before mumbling to the other two women "I'll get drinks," her mind was in overdrive, she needed to get over her irrational fear of 'Wicked' it was ridiculous that the show had such an effect on her. Her soon to be (hopefully) girlfriend worked on the show and it seemed highly likely that her best friend would end up working on it too. She needed to stop holding onto the past. She needed to break the connection she held between the show and Rachel. It was ridiculous at the mention of it. It could make her so upset and irrational. At that moment she made the decision she was going to go and see the show and get over this silly fear. What the worst that could happen.

Quinn got drinks and made her way back to her friends. She sat next to Helena and handed her her drink along with a peck on the cheek and gave Tracey hers across the table. Tracey took the drink and downed it in one.

"Well ladies, it's been fun but I really must get going, busy week and all that. Have a good night!" she winked at Quinn and then left the bar.

Quinn and Helena sat side by side conversation flowed easily.

"You want to get out of here and go for a walk?" Quinn asked hopefully.

"I'd love too" Helena replied with a smile.

The pair said goodbye to their friends and made their way onto the busy streets of Soho. Quinn took crossing the street as an opportunity to take Helena's hand into her own. The pair strolled leisurely for a further 20 minutes not letting go of each others hands. After getting used to having Helena's hand in her own Quinn began to play with the other girl's fingers as they walked.

They stopped by a waterfall in Trafalgar Square. The area was empty apart from 2 other couples and a few tourist snapping pictures. The smell of chlorine filled Quinn's nostrils, she pushed some loose hair behind Helena's ear. Helena leaned into the touch and Quinn smiled as she was pretty sure she just saw the brunette swoon.

"I've had a nice evening tonight!" Quinn said matter of factly.

"Me too!" the brunette beamed.

"So I was wondering if you'd let me take you out for dinner next Sunday evening? I would love for it to be sooner but I have a few auditions next week and a few jobs lined up," she rambled.

"Next Sunday sounds perfect to me."

"Good well I will let you know specifics closer to the time, but it's a date."

"A date," Helena said with a huge smile. She took a step back and sat on the edge of the fountain pulling Quinn along with her and Quinn rested between Helena's legs.

She let her hands trail up Quinn's arms and wrap around her neck. Quinn let her arms rest around Helena's middle as their bodies moulded together. Quinn looked down at Helena as Helena looked up at her, slowly they began bringing their faces closer letting their lips meet in a slow lingering kiss. No one fought for dominance the kiss was slow with no urgency. Quinn withdrew her lips kissed Helena's nose then locked eyes with the woman before her.

Feeling her heartbeat increase Quinn took a deep breath as she savoured the moment. Helena truly was breathtaking, her eyes were so deep and inviting yet her smile was shy and calming.

Quinn brought her lips back to Helena's and the women shared a heated kiss. Quinn quickly took control taking Helena's hands in her own and holding them at each side of the brunettes hips as she captured her lips in a possessive kiss, she brought her tongue into the kiss and Helena opened her mouth to accept. Soon Helena began to fight back and the pair fought for dominance. Soon Quinn felt herself give in to the kiss as Helena freed her arms and wrapped them around Quinn's body pulling her closer until there was no space left between then. Once she had Quinn where she wanted her she let her hands roam the blondes back. As she dragged her nails down Quinn's back she broke the kiss before binging her lips to her neck starting at the collar bone and kissing her way up to the pulse point, once she found it she let her teeth rake along it then sucked the skin under her mouth before soothing it with her tongue.

Quinn felt her legs become weak as she rested her body completely against Helena's. She felt arousal rush through her body as she ran her hands over her body and sucked on her neck. She needed to stop this before she wouldn't be able too stop, she knew that she was getting close to the point of no return.

The pair were brought apart by a wolf whistle coming from a group of people approaching.

Helena dropped her arms from Quinn's body after a final kiss on the girls neck followed by a kiss on the lips.

"I'm sorry" she said shly "I guess I got carried away"

"You need to stop apologising for doing the most amazing things," Quinn smiled "You made me feel good, if I'm honest with you I really didn't want to stop... But I'm glad we have" Quinn saw the hurt look wash over Helena's features.

She took Helena's hand in her own "Helena look at me. I really really didn't want to stop. But I'm glad we did because I don't want to rush this. I don't want this to be just a physical thing between us. I want to get to know you. I want you to get to know me. I really like you Helena and I don't want to mess things up."

"I understand and I really like you too Quinn. I'll try and keep my hormones in check and stop pouncing on you."

"Please don't stop with the pouncing, I really enjoy the pouncing, and part of me wants nothing more than to take you home and spend the whole night worshiping your amazing body but I can't. Well that's a lie I could but you mean more to me than that."

"Please don't say things like that too me and expect me not to rip your clothes off!"

"Ok I'll try not too," she smiled looking into the brunettes eyes.

"Come on let's go home. Your two stops after me on the tube so I'll let you escort me home."

"How kind of you."

Quinn did just that they said their goodbyes as Helena got off the tube and shared a short sweet kiss.

When Quinn got home she let her mind replay the evening. She was falling for Helena and there was nothing she could do about it and if she was honest with herself she's not sure she'd want too.

She couldn't imagine she'd ever feel this way about anyone other than Rachel but it was happening. She was falling.

She turned on her laptop to check her emails and her heart dropped as she saw a name she didn't expect to see.

From: Shelby Corcoran, Subject: Beth.

She opened the email and took a deep breath.

Dear Quinn,  
I'm sorry for emailing like this so out of the blue. I know we haven't been in touch since you left New Haven but i just wanted to let you know how Beth's doing. I know you must wonder and I know how scary it is to have to make the initial contact. This email is assuming you do want to know how's Beth's doing. I know it may be too painful and maybe you're not ready. If that's the case then please stop reading now and know that whenever your ready we are only a phone call or email away.

If you have decided to read on know how happy I am to tell you how amazing our little girl is.

As I'm sure your aware she's 5 now and so full of life. She looks a lot like you she has long blonde hair and I'm told she has your eyes. she's very bubbly and outgoing.

She's in kindergarten and is very bright for her age at the minute she wants to be a broadway star or an astronaut. She loves to sing and dance and seems to be naturally gifted in both. Please know I did not push her into either!

She's so perfect Quinn and im so thankful to you for giving me such an amazing girl and I just need you to know that when you're ready to see her again you're welcome too. I think she'd love you. I know without a doubt you love her.

I've attached some photos for you so you have a more up to date shot of her.

Best wishes  
Shelby

Quinn smiled brightly yet her heart felt as though it was breaking. The tears poured from her eyes as the sobs escaped her lips.

Her baby girl, her baby girl wasn't a baby any more. She often wondered how she looked now and what she loved. She clicked on the attachment on the email and downloaded all 20 images.  
She took a deep breath and wiped her tears as the first image loaded. There she saw a beautiful 2 year old beth eating ice cream dressed in a pretty pink floral dress and sun hat.  
The pictures spanned the last 3 years of the child's life. On all but one Beth was alone posing for the camera or playing nonchalant that a photo was being taken. On the final photo Beth was sat at the top of a slide smiling madly at the woman who was waiting for her at the bottom. At first glance she thought it was Shelby but at a second glance she felt her heart speed up and the blood rush to her head.

There was no mistaking that curly hair and petite frame. There with Beth was Rachel.

She felt her world come to a holt. She looked back at the picture and saw the smile on Beth's features as she looked at Rachel. It was evident that she adored the woman stood before her. The mix of emotions running through Quinn was overwhelming, she was happy to see a picture of Beth and happy to see Rachel but knowing the two had a relationship made her feel heartbroken that the two people she cares about the most had a bond she could only ever dream about having with either. Also she felt comfort in knowing that Rachel was a part of Beth's life. It made her feel at ease knowing that Beth had Rachel in her life.

Quinn made a printout of the picture, cut it and put it into her purse. Not really sure why she just felt the need to have it, she put the picture along with the one of her and Rachel outside the gershwin in new York and her and Beth minutes after the she was born.

She got herself washed and ready for bed and then got in bed taking her laptop with her. She re read Shelby's email and looked through the pictures one final time. Her daughter was beautiful and as she looked at the lady one she couldn't help but remember how beautiful Rachel was. She closed her laptop and got into bed and tried to sleep.

Her mind wandered to Helena, then Beth and finally Rachel. When did her life become so complicated. She let sleep take over her body as thoughts of the 3 women took over her mind.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was Friday evening and Rachel had completed her first week working as a principle in a musical. More importantly her first week as a cast member in Wicked. To celebrate, her and Helena were going out for dinner and to see a show. Rachel had chosen to go see 'Matilda' and was excited to see her first West End show.

Helena and Rachel sat facing one another in the restaurant both excited for their evening together. Over the past week the pair had become friends they spent most lunch times together and often hung out after the show.

"I've had the most amazing week Helena!" Rachel beamed.

"I'm glad your enjoying yourself, and your first week of training is officially over!" Helena took her glass in hand and indicated for Rachel to do the same "Here's to Rachel Berry West End star!"

Rachel smiled and toasted with Helena. "Thanks Helena, thank you for everything this last week. You've made this whole transition a very enjoyable one."

"Your very welcome Rach I'm so happy that I met you. I'm honoured to be able to say that Rachel Berry is my new BFF!"

"Well I'm honoured to say that Helena Potter is my new BFF!"

"Well BFF let's get over to the theatre, so we can get you one of those booster seats before the children steal them all." she said in jest.

Rachel playfully slapped her new friends arm and the two made their way out into the bus streets of London.

"That was incredible," the Diva gushed as the pair sat in a bar in Covent Garden.

"It was amazing. Those kids where fantastic!"

"I can't believe they are so talented and so so young. My ... well Beth my Mu, well friends little girl is 5 and she would love this show. I'm gonna bring her to see it when she comes to visit." Rachel felt sad at Beth being so far away.

"I'm sure she'd love it, you look a little sad are you ok?"

"Yes I'm just, I miss her that's all. She's only been in my life for a year and I don't know how but she sorta stole my heart. I miss her."

"If you don't mind me asking how exactly did she come into your life?"

"Well that depends. It's a long story."

"It's ok. I've got time, that's if you want to talk about it?"

"Well I suppose the best place to start is how I came to be"

Helena raised an eyebrow in confusion and Rachel smiled then carried on with her tale.

"I was born via Shelby who was a surrogate for my Dads. In my troubled teenaged years I sorta felt a resentment towards her. I often wondered why she never came to see me or even checked that I was ok. It turns out that Shelby signed a contract to say that she would not try to contact me until I was 18 years old. However when I was 16 I got to meet her. How is a story for another time. Basically she told me she didn't want a teenage daughter and she'd missed too much of my life and I didn't need her. At the time I was heart broken and felt like I'd been abandoned." Helena looked shocked.

Rachel just smiled and continued "Don't worry I'm completely fine with it now. Shelby isn't my mother. I already have two loving parents I don't need another, Now she's more like a friend to me and I honestly wouldn't want anything more from her. Now this is where the story may get confusing. In high school two of my friends had a baby girl whom is now known as Beth. Shelby adopted Beth when she was born. So Beth is my surrogate mother's daughter."

"Wow confusing"

"That's not all it. After Beth was born i didn't see Shelby again, then a year later Shelby showed up saying she wanted to get to know me more and for Beth to know her biological parents. Before Beth was born her biological mother and I didn't have the best relationship, we fought over boys. She was the head cheerleader I was the show choir geek. After Beth was born we became friends. By college we were the best of friends. She meant more to me than I think she'll ever know. Not a single day goes by without me thinking about her. Anyway, basically after the first 4 months of college she disappeared out of my life and I've not seen her since."

It was good speaking about Quinn, it felt nice to be able to talk about her to someone who wouldn't make harsh comment about the blonde or who would be upset at her name being brought up.

"Sorry side tracked! Back to Beth. So Shelby stayed around for a while. She started teaching at my school but we never had much contact. I was still bitter towards her and if I'm honest I hurt seeing her with Beth knowing she didn't want anything to do with me before. So things got messed up and she just left. I didn't see her again until last year. When we reconnected it was nice. I see her as a friend these days she helped me with auditions and I helped her with Beth and in doing so I found my 5 year old best friend. I love Beth dearly. She is the most perfect child. She loves to sing and dance and I'm her idol which is kind of wonderful."

"Wow that was some story!"

"Indeed. I think that's the first time I've told it to someone. I don't seem to make friends easily. The friends I do have have been around since high school so they experienced it first hand."

"Well I'm honoured that you shared your story with me I hope you'll introduce me Beth when she comes to visit?"

"I'd be honoured too." Rachel beamed

"So enough about me! Are you going to meet your 'friend' this evening?" Rachel questioned jokingly

"No not tonight we do however have a date on Sunday."

"Ooh where are you going?"

"I'm not sure yet she said it's a surprise. She's picking me up at 6.30."

"Sounds intending. How long have you been dating?"

"2 weeks this will be our third date. Which I'm told is a record her her so I'm keeping my fingers crossed."

"what's she like? If you don't mind me asking? If you do please feel free to tell me to shut up."

"Quinn is a gorgeous blonde, and I don't mean to sound shallow she's so much more than that. She's passionate, she's caring, she's honestly everything I think I could ever want in a lover."

Rachel smiled, sounded just like the Quinn she once knew. "She sounds amazing I'm glad you have one another. I look forward to meeting her. What does she do?"

"Shes an actress mainly small TV roles she's done a couple of plays in the west end too. She also works in London's most prestigious lesbian bar by night. That's how we met actually. We did go out a year ago but it was a one day thing and she never called me. But now she seems to have learned from her mistakes." Helena laughed.

"That's good to hear because if she treated by BFF badly I'd have to hunt her down."

"Glad to see you have my back Rach but I think we'll be ok, so how about you? Did you leave a boyfriend behind?"

"Nope long time single and honestly I'm happy that way. Although the way you talk about your amazing woman makes we want to steal her for myself!" Rachel joked "As we seem to be getting everything out there you may as well know I was engaged once, to my high school sweetheart. We very nearly got married. Actually if it wasn't for my friend being in an accident we probably would have gone through with it. Which is beyond ridiculous seeing as shorty after we broke up. I'm happy that we never got married and if I'm completely honest with you I think the sad thing is I was so close to marrying him and he wasn't the love of my life. I think in all honestly my heart never did belong to him I was just settling because I didn't think I could do any better."

"I'm sorry Rachel. But you've had the most interesting life ever, so much drama. I hope that one day you meet your Mr Right." Helena said hopefully.

"The sad thing is I think I already did and I let her slip through my fingers... wait let's not get all depressing now!" Rachel stated forcing a smile "I may be unlucky in love but for a long time my true love was broadway and here I am so close to my dream."

Rachel and Helena said there goodbyes and Rachel took a leisurely stroll back to her hotel. She watching the people laughing in huge groups, she saw the couples kiss and she saw the family's together. Walking the streets of London felt amazing but it wasn't New York. She was really happy to have made a friend in Helena but also sad as she missed her friend back at home. She missed her and Kurt's constant bickering, she missed Santana's inappropriate comments, Brittany's hugs, and Beth's sweet smile.

She couldn't dwell on it though. They would visit her over the next year and she would visit them during holidays. She was grateful for the friends she had made. Her and Helena had become instant friends. She had worried about not making friends so was beyond happy by the fact that she had made such a good one so soon. It was fine during the day, Helena was always around but in the evening she was lonely. Most evenings were spent emailing friends and family. She made sure to speak to at least one of them a day. Today it was her Dads turn.

She got back to her hotel room quickly showered and changed not fresh pajamas before getting settled on her sofa and ringing her dads.

"Hey Baby Girl" Hiram greeted enthusiastically " Leroy, Leroy it's Rachel hurry up and get down here" he yelled covering the phone with his hand so to not shout in Rachel's here "sorry Hunny, Daddy's here now I'm gonna put you on speaker now"

"Hey Dads! I miss you"

"we miss you too!" they both echoed in union

"So how's London?" Hiram said excitingly

"it's amazing daddy, I've had the most exciting first week. The cast is amazing, the crew are so talented and I made a new friend. Her names Helena and she's the stage manager. She is lovely. I can't wait for you to meet her!"

"Then we can't wait to meet her"

"How's your schedule Hunny?"

"Pretty hectic at the minute. It's 8-6 Monday to Friday but at least for now I get my weekend to explore London."

The family talked for an hour before they said their goodbyes. Rach checked her emails on her phone. She was happy to see a message from Shelby

From: Shelby Corhogan, Subject: We miss you!

Dear Rachel,

Beth wanted to send you a letter. (which she has done but will probably take a while to arrive) so in the mean time find attached a present especially for you.

Lots of Love

Shelby & Your number 1 fan Beth

Xxx

She opened the picture to see a very smiley Beth holding up a sign saying 'I love you Rachel' scrawled in childish handwriting and underneath was a picture of a green witch flying on a broom.

Rachel smiled and saved the picture to her IPhone before assigning the image as he wallpaper. She set her alarm then went to bed. Tomorrow she would be spending her day exploring the streets of London.

_Thanks for the reviews I never meant to make Helena likeable but I sorts like her a lot at the minute... The story will of course be Faberry in the end..._


	8. Chapter 8

_Firstly I would like to apologise for the lack of updates! So much has happened since I last updated. Went to New York, got married, had the most amazing honeymoon in Florida and just got a big promotion at work. All of this as left me with less free time. My Wife has decided she will now take up crocheting! I kid you not. So she is doing that and I will write this story while she is entertained with that! _

_Thank you for the feedback and special thanks to gllover22 for the message that made me get my act together and get back to writing this._

_This chapter is short. The reason being I'm writing the next 2 at the same time and I'm more excited for them so finding them much easier to write. The main reason I didn't update way back when is because I was struggling with writing the last chapter._

Chapter 8

It had been a month since Quinn had received the email from Shelby and Quinn knew she had to reply. She felt ashamed that it taken her so long to do so. It's not that she hadn't written a reply. She'd written at least 50 replies but the words just didn't seem to convey the feelings she needed to express. She wanted to say thank you for the pictures, thank you for putting my mind at rest and mostly thank you for raising Beth to be the amazing child she is today.

So she sat in her apartment on a Friday evening, the lights dim, the windows open From the streets below she heard the hustle and bustle of the city. Usually she would be one of those people talking loudly in a group of friends as she ventured into the city to consume copious amounts of alcohol and dance into the early hours of the following day. Of course that was if she wasn't working; which on most weekends she did. Tonight though she had the evening off and she had decided she was going to devote her evening to sending a reply to Shelby and Beth.

She clicked on 'New Message' and stared at the scene blankly for 15 minutes. She took a few deep breaths and let her mind take over.

_Dear Shelby,_

_Firstly I want to apologise for taking so long to reply to your email. I have tried to reply numerous times but my words can never quite convey what I need them too. I'm going to try anyway._

_Thank you for sending me the pictures of Beth, she is beautiful. She's the most beautiful child I've ever seen, not a day goes by that I don't think about her. She looks so happy._

_Thank you for making her so happy. Thank you for being her Mom. Looking at the pictures I can see that I made the right choice in choosing you to raise her._

_I do want to see her someday. I don't think I'm ready for that yet. As much as I want to I don't think the time is right just yet but soon maybe I could visit?_

_I'm glad she loves to sing and dance, it's something I often wonder about._

_I loved the photos you sent me. I couldn't help but notice Rachel in the one with Beth on the slide. I know I have no right in asking but I feel I need to anyway. Is she ok? Did all her dreams come true? I'm glad you are back on good terms and that Beth has Rachel in her life._

_Thank you again._

_ Quinn_

She took a deep breath and sighed. The words just weren't right. She knows she has no right to ask about Rachel but after seeing the picture the girl had plagued her mind. She needed to know if she was ok. She took a deep breath hovered the mouse over 'send' closing her eyes and exhaling as she clicked. She immediately felt as though the weight of the world has been lifted from her shoulders.

In the past month Quinn and Helena had continued to date. However since seeing the picture of Rachel the brunette had been on Quinn's mind even more than usual which had made things with Helena slow down a bit. They still dated but Quinn had begun to withdraw. When they kissed and held one another she held on tight physically but tried to detach her mind from what was happening. Sometimes when they touched she would let her mind wonder to Rachel. She wondered if she had someone holding her like this but what scared her most was when she wondered what it would be like if Rachel was the one she held in her arms.

Quinn knew she couldn't continue doing this. She cared for Helena greatly and she didn't deserve this treatment. She deserved someone who would want to hold her in their arms and forget the world and everything in it. Someone whose world would be complete with her in it. Quinn decided that she wanted that to be her. She needed to concentrate her energy on Helena. She needed to let go of Rachel.

Sometimes it amused her to think how much of her time was spend thinking of Rachel when Rachel was most likely settled down with some man in a beautiful New York apartment living her dreams. While Quinn still spent her time thinking about her. Quinn knew she needed to move on with Helena and embrace what they could be together and that's exactly what she intended to do.

Their next date was to be Monday and Quinn was really not looking forward to it. Helena had asked Quinn to accompany her to see the first performance of the new cast of Wicked. She would try to get out of it but as her best friend was also going to be making her west end debut she couldn't say she had to work. Tracey had made sure that Quinn was given the evening off and Quinn knew she needed to get over herself and be there for Helena. This was important to Helena and so important to Quinn also... At least she tried to think that way.

Whenever Quinn and Helena spent time together she had made a conscious effort to not discuss work. Her silly fear of that stupid musical was really starting to piss her off. It made her mad that such a silly thing could invoke such fear in her. So Monday she would get over herself and face her stupid fear and be there for her girlfriend and best friend on their special night.

Quinn Fabray would not be defeated by some stupid musical!

Thank you for reading. Feedback greatly appreciated!


	9. Chapter 9

_Anon - I will try to upload more and I'm sorry for my slow updates life has been hectic lately. But things are starting to settle down now so should get more free time._

Rachel was beyond excited in anticipation for her opening night the following day. Her fathers, Shelby and Beth had flown in specially to be there.

After a morning spent together in the hotel pool, Rachel and Beth left the rest of the group to go and see Matilda. The small blonde was so excited about going to see a show in London for the first time and she was almost as excited as Rachel was to have her there with her. The duo walked hand in hand through Covent Garden making their way to the theatre.

"I'm so happy you're here Beth! I've missed you so much!" the brunette beamed. Pulling the blonde into her side for a sideways hug.

"I'm so happy I'm here too Rachie. It's been lots of time since I last saw you. I like talking to you on the phone but it's not the same. I can't wait till you come home then I can see you lots, like before." Rachel's heart ached at the child's words.

"Don't worry Beth I'll be home before you know it!"

The duo spent the afternoon watching the show before making their way back to the hotel. On the way back Beth looked sad and Rachel thought she knew why. She imagined it was because Beth missed her and knew soon they would be separated again.

"What's wrong Bethie?" Rachel teased.

"Who's Quinn?" the little blonde asked boldly.

"Wha, what did you say?" Rachel asked in shock.

"I think I know who she is. I think I remember her. My mommy talks about her sometimes. She says she's happy Quinn gave her me."

"Well Beth maybe you should speak to your Mom about this?"

"I know that I grew in Quinn's belly. I know that my mommy loves me to the stars and back but I think Mommy also wants me to know Quinn. But I'm not sure if I want too!"

"Beth... I don't know what..."

"I heard her on the phone to grandma C, she said that Quinn hurt you and she might do it again if she comes back. That's what she said to Grandma C!"

"Beth I..."

"Why did Quinn hurt you Rachie? If she hurt you I don't want to be her friend. Is she a meany?"

"Beth listen to me ok, Quinn didn't hurt me intentionally. She just made some choices and chose not to be in my life any longer."

"Like she did with me? Did she not want me? Is that why she gave me to mommy?"

"Beth, No. Quinn loved you to the moon and stars just like your mum, just like me. She wanted to keep you for herself so very much. But she wanted you to have the best life possible. That's why she chose Shelby to be your mommy. I'll be honest with you. I really don't know why Quinn chose to no longer be friends with me, but that was her choice and I have to respect that."

"I love my mommy Rachel I really do! I just wondered why Quinn didn't want me."

"Oh Beth come here." she said taking Beth in her arms.

"Never doubt that Quinn wanted you. I can assure you as her best friend in the whole world once upon a time. You Miss Corcoran are the most important person in Quinn's life and wherever she may be, whatever she may be doing. You will always be in her heart Beth. You're her number 1 girl. Just like you mine and your mommies."

Rachel held the small blonde to her chest all the time trying her best to keep her tears contained. How was she supposed to deal with this? Was she saying the right things? Was she making things worse for Beth?

"Rachie I'm sorry I made you sad!" Beth said with a sad expression.

"You didn't baby don't worry."

"Please don't tell mommy I asked about Quinn. I don't want her to think I don't love her. I do love her. I just wanted to know who Quinn was. Mommy said to grandma C that she might come and visit and I was worried she'd be mean to me and make me sad just like she did to you."

"Quinn would never do that Beth. She loves you I promise; now let's go get some dinner with my daddies and your Mommy."

Once back at the hotel the gang say around eating dinner and praising Rachel. She tried best to hide her emotions and enjoy the evening, pushing thoughts of Quinn Fabray to the back of her mind.

Beth didn't leave Rachel's side the whole evening and was a little bit heartbroken when Shelby had to detach her from Rachel in order to take her to bed.

"But, but Mommy I want to stay with Rachie!" she screeched.

"Baby you will see Rachel tomorrow. Not only that you will get to see Rachel perform in 'Wicked', so come on sweetie we need to get you in bed. You will need to be fully rested to see Rachel's debut performance tomorrow!"

Shelby put her arms out to the little girl and she finally took hold after giving Rachel a final squeeze and peck on the cheek "Good night Rachie, I love you" she beamed. Rachel smiled cuddling the child tightly before the girl broke free and went to give Leroy and Hiram big hugs before leaving the table.

"Good night pumpkin!" Hiram called

"Night sweetie pie!" Leroy called after them also.

Once the Corcoran's left, Rachel sat on the sofa between her fathers, smiling contently to just have them there beside her.

"I'm so happy you're here!" she smiled, wrapping an arm around each of them. The position wasn't at all comfortable but she couldn't think of anywhere she'd rather be in that moment.

"We wouldn't miss this for the world baby girl. We are so very proud of you!" Hiram said kissing her forehead.

"You are out greatest achievement Rachel Berry and nothing will make us prouder then seeing your dreams come true." Leroy added

The trio spent the evening reminiscing about old times. Tales of Rachel's childhood keeping them talking into the night.

"Well baby girl, I think it's time you got to bed! Can't have you off game tomorrow for your big day."

"No we can't have that!" Rachel agreed with a smile.

"I'll see you all at the theatre then tomorrow night. I'm going to head over early in the morning and do some triple checking. You know how I like everything to be perfect."

"We wouldn't expect anything less for you hunnie bunnie"

After a few more goodbyes to her parents Rachel completed her nightly beauty routine before getting into bed. She felt her heart sink at the thought of Quinn not being at her first show. Just 2 years before she couldn't imagine that even being a possibility. Did Quinn deserve to be there though?

Her conversation with Beth had shocked her. She didn't realise just how smart the child was. She was surely bright. But obviously she was much more emotionally switched on than most people gave her credit for.

As she lay in bed she let her mind wander to Quinn. She hoped Quinn was well. She missed her dearly. Then came the anger. How dare Quinn treat her this way? She'd made no effort to contact her in so long. Not even a text message or an email to say she was ok. To say she cared, to ask how Rachel was doing. How dare she play with Rachel's emotions like that? What gave her the right to step out of Rachel's life with no reason given other than a stupid email with no explanations.

She'd defended Quinn to Beth but who's to say that Quinn wouldn't break Beth's heart just like she did hers. Who's to say she wouldn't swan into the child's life then realise she'd made a mistake and no longer want anything to do with her. She couldn't and wouldn't let her do that to Beth. That girl meant the world to her and even if she was Quinn's flesh and blood there was no way that Rachel would let her hurt that child.

Rachel hated herself that she still thought about the blonde even after all this time. Even after everything that had happened between them. It broke her into pieces to think that even after Quinn left her life without a second thought she still loved her with every fibre of her being. She was still the face she saw before she went to sleep at night. The face that appeared in her dreams, the voice that made her second guess any decisions she made.

She knew she needed closure. She needed to speak to Quinn she needed to know why? She needed to know that Quinn wouldn't break Beth's heart.

But that would have to wait until this week was over with, because tomorrow she would be making her West End debut in Wicked and she needed to do Beth and her parents proud by doing the best performance possible.


	10. Chapter 10

_Ok 3 chapter in 1 day. now i'm going to bed, but i dont want to because i want to know what happens with Rachel! My inital plan went out the window :-S_

Quinn sat at home watching the clock, it read 6:45. She really needed to leave now or she was not going to make the show. She thought of so many reasons why she couldn't make it. She finally picked up her bag and hurried out the door "time to face you fears Quinn!" she mumbled to herself.

Of course this was the day that there were severe delays on all London Underground lines. After a very stressful journey Quinn left the station checking her phone to see that it was now 7.27, and she had 3 messages from Helena.

'Where are you? H X' sent 7.10

'Hope you're ok, please let me know what's going on H X' sent 7.17

'Ok it's getting really late now. I'm going in but I've left your ticket at the box office H' sent 7.26

Quinn didn't bother replying she just ran across the road, straight into the theatre. Collecting her ticket, she rushed into the theatre mouthing "Sorry" to Helena before quickly taking her seat as the music began to play.

Quinn took a few deep breaths, kissed Helena's cheek and settled into her seat. What Quinn failed to notice was, from the other side of Helena, 4 sets of eyes all staring at her in a state of shock.

Quinn was enjoying the show. She forgot how much she actually loved the show. She couldn't help but sing along in her head to 'Dear Old Shiz' and couldn't deny that she was secretly excited to hear her favourite song 'The Wizard and I' she actually couldn't believe that she'd let this fear take over for so long. She actually loved the show and was going to enjoy every minute of it. That was, until she heard the opening lines of the song.

That voice was undeniable it made the hairs on her arms stand to attention. She gulped in shock and grabbed the arms of her chair. Her heart race increased and her forehead began to sweat. It couldn't possibly be. There was no way this could be Rachel on the stage before her. She was sat quite far back and when Elphaba had made her first appearance on stage, Quinn had thought it could be Rachel. In all honesty she secretly imagined it to be her, the moment she opened her mouth to sing though there was no denying that it was Rachel Berry on that stage.

Helena took Quinn's hand in her own and whispered "Are you ok? She's incredible isn't she?"

Quinn looked up at Helena only to nod a "yes" and that's when she looked beside the brunette to see the blonde haired girl sitting next to Helena looking at her. Not just any blonde haired girl. She knew straight away who those eyes belonged to, it may have been many years since she last saw them but she'd never forget those eyes. She looked past the girl to see Shelby stare at her gobsmacked, and then past Shelby she saw an equally shocked and slightly angry Hiram and Leroy.

She let her eyes settle back on Beth and as her mind swam with memories and dreams her tears flowed freely. She smiled at the girl one last time before returning her attention to the stage. This was Rachel's opening show, there was no way she was going to steal her spot light. Helena took her hand again and looked at her in sheer confusion. "Just enjoy the show and take some deep breaths." She reassured warmly.

The rest of the first act was spent watching Rachel bring her dream role to life. As the final notes of 'Defying gravity' rang out Quinn began to pray that the how would never end or at least not until she could figure out how to deal with everything. So many emotions filled her mind. Love, fear, hurt, sorrow, regret and secretly hope. Hope for the future. The future that suddenly became so unknown and confused.

As the house lights came on she knew her time was up. She needed to think and think fast, should she run, was that an option.

5 pairs of eyes landed on her Helena spoke first "Quinn this is Beth and Shelby and Hiram and Leroy Rachel's fathers" Quinn opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. She just looked at Beth with a bitter sweet smile as her tears fell once more.

"Quinn..." Beth questioned

Quinn smiled at the child and tried to hold her emotions inside as she spoke to the child.

"It's so good to meet you Beth!" Quinn sobbed taking the child's hand.

Beth took the hand before throwing herself into Quinn's arm. Quinn was taken back but returned the child's hug.

"I'm so happy to meet you too. Please don't be sad. I'm so happy you're here. No one told me I'd get to meet you today. Even when I asked Rachel about you yesterday she didn't tell me."

"I didn't know I was going to see you either but it's an amazing surprise." Beth broke away and returned to Shelby's side.

"Quinn are you ok, what are you doing here?" Shelby enquired.

"I'm fine thank you Shelby just overwhelmed. I didn't know Rachel was in London. I didn't know I swear" Quinn began to panic. She didn't know what to say what to do. She pulled Shelby into a hug and whispered into her ear. "Thank you, thank you, thank you, she's perfect, from the bottom of my heart I thank you!" not knowing what else to say.

Quinn broke away before greeting Hiram and Leroy. They both smiled at her before embracing her in a three way hug. "Quinine bear me missed you! Where have you been? Why didn't you tell us you were coming, why didn't Rachel tell us?"

"I missed you both too so so much. Rachel doesn't know I'm here. I didn't know Rachel was here. I'm, well you see, I'm…"

"She's here with me!" Helena added. Quinn looked at Helena and nodded silently not knowing what to say

"Oh well. We didn't know you were, well…"

Luckily for Quinn, Selby took the silence as an opportunity to excuse herself and Beth to go and see Rachel backstage.

"Shelby… don't tell her I'm here… please, I don't want to ruin this for her. She doesn't deserve this."

"Ok I won't but not for your sake Quinn, for Rachel's."

"Thank you."

Helena looked completely confused but wasn't stupid. Everything began to make sense. Quinn, HER girlfriend, was Rachel's best friend who disappeared, Beth's birth mother and without a doubt the woman that Rachel Berry was in love with. From the way Quinn was acting, it seemed like Rachel wasn't the only one harbouring those feelings.

Quinn took Helena's hand in her own.

"I'm sorry, you must be so confused. I promise I'll explain everything later" she said with a smile trying to reassure her.

Helena pulled her hand away from Quinn's. "Don't worry, no need to explain! I'm pretty sure I know exactly what's going on here, just sit down and watch the rest of the show!"

Quinn did as she was told. How could Helena know? Or more importantly WHAT did Helena know? Surely Rachel wouldn't have mentioned her. Did Helena know about Beth too?

Just as the lights went down Beth and Shelby took their seats. The small blonde flashed a big smile Quinn's way just as the music began to play.

The second act went by so quickly. Quinn silently sobbed for the whole hour. Not really sure if it was because of the breath taking performance Rachel was giving, the thought of coming face to face with the tiny diva and her daughter on the same day. What did this mean for her and Helena?

As 'For Good' rang through her ears. Quinn began to feel sick. She then realised that she was going to come face to face with Rachel. Whether that be today or in the future she was going to have to face the consequences of her actions. Rachel was going to hate her. Rachel must already hate her. How many chances can one person be given. How would she deal with the person who means so much to her hating her so much?

She sat there lost in thoughts, tears streaming down her face. She then realised that everyone around her was standing. She'd zoned out and it was the encore.

Helena grabbed her arm and dragged her to her feet more forcefully then need be. She joined the others around her in giving a round of applause.

As Rachel and her co-star walked out hand in hand and took a bow, Quinn stopped clapping and just starred at the girl before her. It was then that Rachel looked out into the crowd. Her eyes landing on her dads as they cheered and smiled brightly, then on Shelby who shed tears of joy. To Beth who cheered Rachel's name loudly, then to Helena who forced a smile. Then finally Rachel's eyes landed on Quinn and the smile the brunette once wore now turned into a frown. A look of discontent and confusion washed over her features. Quinn couldn't bear to see the hurt on Rachel's face. She looked away and to the floor. As the curtain rose she looked back at the place Rachel once occupied.

"I think I should leave." Quinn said hesitantly.

"You think you should leave!" Helena repeated! "Are you actually kidding me here Quinn! You are not the women I thought you were. How could you do that to her? To me?"

"Helena please I can explain…just not here."

"I think she needs you to explain to her more than I do! How could you do that to her? Just leave her with no reason! Just abandon her. You were her best friend!"

Shelby took it upon herself to intervene as a curious Beth listened in eagerly.

"Ladies, I really don't think this is the time or place for this discussion." she said indicating to Beth.

"We will head backstage to see Rachel with Bethie" Hiram added. Taking the girl by the hand as the couple led her away from the enraged women.

"I'm sorry Shelby; I didn't mean to do that." Helena said sincerely

"It wasn't your fault Helena I deserved it. Shelby, I'm sorry I'm just going to leave. I'll give you my number and if you'd like we could arrange to meet up?"

"Quinn you can't just leave. You'll break her heart all over again! Please don't do that to her again, I beg of you please don't leave. She will want to see you,"

Quinn was taken back. She'd broken Rachel's heart. She'd hurt Rachel so much that she mentioned it to her new friend. So much that Shelby is standing before her asking her not to do it again.

"I'll stay, I didn't know. I thought she'd not want to see me. I thought it would make things worse. If you think it's for the best I'll see her."

"You can speak to her at the after show party. She's going to be running on adrenalin for the moment. Give her some time to cool down or she'll tear you apart!" Helena said "…although I think you deserve it!"

"I'm going to go and see Rachel, I'll see you both at the after show party." Shelby added before leaving quickly.

"Helena please just let me explain?"

"Not now Quinn please, I just, you were you, I was falling for you, we were meant to be good together, but you hurt Rachel so bad. The Quinn I thought I knew wouldn't do that." Helena run her fingers through her hair.

"What am I thinking, of course you are! Quinn one night Fabray. That was the real you wasn't it. This person I've been falling for isn't you. That's the same facade you put on when you made Rachel think she was your best friend before you just left her behind and moved on!"

"No that's not true, you know nothing about my relationship with Rachel! You know nothing about my life!"

"That wasn't an issue when you were holding me in your arms and telling me how much I meant to you was it? You never even mentioned that you had a child!"

"Please don't talk about Beth. I'm not ready. I can't"

"You're not ready, you can't! You're a coward Quinn Fabray you're nothing but a coward! If you cared about them it wouldn't matter about YOU being ready or that YOU don't want to. What about what they need? What about what they want?"

Quinn felt the air rush out of her lungs. Helena was right she was a coward. She was a selfish bitch and didn't deserve to have any of these people in her life. Her breathing started to increase. She felt herself fighting for air. Before she knew it, She was being shaken awake by Helena.

"Quinn, Quinn breathe, please just breathe. I'm sorry I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I'm just confused and hurt. Please breathe, please just breathe" she begged the blonde and pulled her into her arms.

The whole theatre had emptied except for Quinn, Helena and a front of house manager who stood in the far corner trying to give the pair space.

"I'm sorry Helena, I care about you honestly I do, I want to make us work I don't know what to do."

Helena brought her lips down harshly onto Quinn's and Quinn returned the kiss desperately. For what seemed like an eternity the two women clung to one another, afraid of reality taking over.

Helena pulled away and looked into Quinn's tear filled eyes. Mirroring her own

"We are going to head backstage and freshen up. I am going to take you to my office, and then I will bring Rachel to you. You can't put it off any longer you need to speak to her. She needs answers and its time she got them."

Quinn nodded her response attempting to contain the tears she felt building behind her eyes.

The pair went to freshen up and Helena led Quinn to her office. On her desk there was a picture of the two of them sat on a park bench pulling funny faces at the camera. On noticing it, Helena lay the frame face down.

"I'll go and get Rachel."

"I'll just drop her here then leave, give you two some time."

"Thank you Helena! You are an incredible human being you truly are."

Helena smiled a bitter sweet smile before leaving Quinn alone.

Quinn took a moment to get the day's events straight in her mind.

Rachel was the star of Wicked in London, Rachel was also her girlfriends best friend, her daughter was in town, she apparently broke Rachel's heart, clearly hurt Helena and any minute now she was going to be reunited with Rachel Berry.


	11. Chapter 11

After the show, she'd not had time to think about what had just happened as the curtain came down. Her cast mates had all been running around screaming at one another; they'd shared hugs and congratulations. Her parents, Shelby and Beth were waiting in her dressing room. Quickly she gave them hugs and they shared congratulations. Before she even had a chance to ask about Quinn there was a knock on the door "Rachel, no pressure but there are hundreds of screaming fan girls and boys outside waiting to meet you!" a voice called.

Hiram kissed her on the cheek "we'll go and get a drink and meet you at the bar so you have time to shower and get ready. We will meet you after you've dealt with your adoring fans. Enjoy it Rachel. They will adore you."

Rachel forced a smile as Hiram led the group out of the room.

She quickly got washed, dressed did her make up before making her way to the stage door. What seemed like 100's of people lined the streets. Rachel was taken back but felt tears of joy fill her eyes. Her dreams were really coming true. She stepped into the crowds as people rushed towards her asking for autographs and pictures. Over the next 30 minutes she lived her dream as she was showered with praise and well wishes.

Once she had taken her last photo Rachel made her way back inside. She headed over to her family where she received more hugs. As much as she didn't want to ask she knew she had too.

"Was it her?" she asked Leroy. Trying to not draw attention to herself and not wanting to upset Beth.

He gulped and nodded a silent 'Yes'

She felt a hand on her shoulder and fear set in. She expected to turn and be greeted by Quinn. However it was Helena behind her.

"You were incredible Rach!" she gushed forcing a smile and pulling the shorter brunette into a hug.

"Can I speak to you for a minute?" she enquired

Rachel wanted to say 'No' she didn't want to deal with this now. But she knew she had to. "yes." She said with a nod.

Rachel excused herself and followed Helena to a side room.

"Rachel I don't know what to say, I didn't know! She was your… friend."

"I don't know what to say either Helena. I'm sorry!"

From the way that Helena spoke to her Rachel knew that Helena knew. She knew her secret. She knew that she loved Quinn, her girlfriend Quinn.

"You have nothing to be sorry for Rachel. She does! But you don't. Don't ever apologise for her actions." Helena took a deep breath "She's waiting for you. She's in my office. I told her I'd get you. I didn't think bringing her down here was a good idea."

"I don't think I can see her right now. I don't think I can deal with this! I thought there was a reason she left me! I thought there was a reason she abandoned me! She's fine; she's happy and she just left me behind!"

"Rach, maybe she can give you some answers? You deserve some answers!"

"Helena I'm so sorry! I know this can't be easy for you. Nothing ever happened between us. I swear to you!" Rachel pleaded desperately "and she doesn't know that I... I just, I don't know what... she was my best friend and she just left me!"

"You don't need to explain anything to me Rachel."

Rachel tried to avoid looking in Helena eyes, she felt exposed, she felt scared, and she couldn't deal with this today.

"I can't deal with her tonight. I need to go back to my family. Could you give me her number? I'll arrange to meet her some other time. I just want to enjoy the evening without having to deal with the past."

"Of course." Helena wrote down Quinn's number and passed it to Rachel. "You were really incredible tonight Rachel. For what it's worth she cried through the whole show and never took her eyes of you." Helena confessed with a hint of sadness in her voice. "I'll ask her to leave and tell her you'll be in touch, I'm gonna get out of here too. I hope you have a great evening."

"Thank you for doing this Helena; you truly are an incredible friend."

Rachel pulled Helena into a hug. Just as they settled into each other's arms. Tracey burst through the door.

"Sorry for interrupting! Wrong room. Rachel you were incredible. H hope you're not forgetting my girl Q!" she warned as she left the room.

Rachel looked at Helena confused.

"Tracey is Quinn's best friend. She probably thinks we are having an affair!"

When Rachel met Tracey she instantly liked the girl. She was a mixture of Santana and Brittany. It made sense that she would be a friend of Quinn's.

"Helena… how long has Quinn been living here in London?" Rachel asked hesitantly not sure she wanted to hear the answer.

"Around 2 years I think."

After Helena left, Rachel took a few minutes to regain her composure before re-joining the party.

She spent the next hour with family and new found friends celebrating her big break. As she chatted with cast mates she tried to forget about Quinn. That worked until she got back to the hotel room.

Later Rachel sat alone in her hotel room tears streaming down her face. It hurt; it hurt more than she ever imagined it could hurt! Sometimes she would imagine seeing Quinn again. Usually on special occasions like her birthday, Christmas, Hanukah she'd imagined the doorbell would ring and Quinn would be at the other side of the door. Quinn would engulf her in her arms and apologise and explain she'd been on a secret mission for the CIA, she'd had to go into witness protection or she'd been kidnapped and held hostage by pirates. So many versions had played out in her mind. None of them included Quinn moving away for no apparent reason. None of them included Quinn Fabray being happy and living her life with no thought of Rachel.

Quinn didn't seek her out. Quinn had bumped into her by accident. Quinn had been in London all along. She was in a relationship with Helena. Good Christian girl Quinn Fabray was a lesbian. Why did she never tell Rachel? Her best friend.

Rachel held the piece of paper containing Quinn's phone number in her hands. This piece of paper held the answers she needed, but could also hold the answers she didn't want to hear.

Rachel added the number to her phone and with a great deal of hesitation. Decided she had to contact Quinn. She needed answers, she needed closure.

'Can we meet?'

'Rachel?'

'yes it's me"

'When is a good time for you? Q x'

'Tomorrow? Any time before 5'

'Morning? 10am? Shall I come to you? Helena told me where you're staying. I hope that's ok. Q x'

'Yes that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow'

'Thank you for seeing me, it means a lot. I'm sorry for everything. I truly am. Good night Rachel. Sweet dreams. Q x'

Rachel reread the message over and over, she just didn't understand. She just hoped in the morning she would get the answers she needed.

_Fa__berry will be reunited in the next chapter!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Thank you for the reviews and PM's :-) here we go then..._

Quinn couldn't believe what had happened. She'd started the day dreading a trip to see wicked. She'd decided to face her fear. If only she'd known just how much the day would change her life. By the end of the day she had seen the love of her life in the flesh, who also just happened to be her girlfriend's new best friend and she'd seen her biological daughter for the first time in way too long.

Until she saw Beth, Quinn hadn't realised just how much she needed to see the girl. Although their interaction had been minimal she had gotten to hold the child in her arms again. Only this time when she looked into the child's eyes she saw acceptance. She saw happiness, she saw love.

When Quinn got home she cried hopelessly for a while. Just letting the day's events sink in and allow herself the time to come to terms with what had happened.

Once she had calmed down she hesitantly sent a text message to Shelby asking if she could arrange a meeting with Beth.

'Hi it's Quinn. I'm not sure if you even have this number anymore. I was wondering if it would be possible to arrange a meet up. Could I meet Beth? If you think that would be ok? And if she would like to meet of course. Thanks Quinn'

Initially Quinn thought she wasn't ready to meet her little girl but once she'd seen her and she'd looked in her eyes she felt content. The main reason she felt that she wasn't ready was because she was afraid she couldn't deal with the rejection. But there was none. Beth seemed happy to see her.

'Hi Quinn. I think that would be a good idea. Beth has been asking about you since we got back to the hotel. She'd like to meet you. How about dinner tomorrow evening? Shelby '

'That sounds perfect Shelby. Thank you. I could take you both to Rainforest Café? My treat. Quinn'

'Sounds perfect. We will be there at 6.30 tomorrow evening. I hope you manage to sort thing with Rachel. She's missed you dearly. Shelby'

Another message soon followed.

'Bitch where are you? Bet you're banging Helena somewhere! Thanks for your congrats Q! Good job I love you Bitch! I'm by the bar. You owe me a drink.'

'Tracey I am so sorry, I had to leave something came up. I'll explain all to you tomorrow. I'll make it up to you. You were incredible. I'm so proud of you. Have an amazing evening. Do everything I wouldn't do! Love you Q'

In all honesty Quinn had hardly noticed Tracey during the show. She'd been so focused on Rachel that she had barely took her eyes off her through the whole show, she was completely mesmerised by her when she sang. Just like always.

She sat silently holding her phone in her hands. Her leg bouncing as she let her mind wander to Rachel. She so desperately wanted to speak to her. But also the thought of actually coming face to face with her terrified her more than she wanted to admit. She didn't dare ask Helena for Rachel's number and so she would have to wait for Rachel to make contact with her.

She thought about what to say but she was at a loss. How could she explain to Rachel why she had just disappeared? How did she explain why she couldn't bear to see her anymore? She knew that honesty was the best policy but how could she stand in front of the girl who used to be her best friend and explain that she loved her so much she needed to be with her 24/7 or not all. How could she tell her friend that she was hopelessly in love with her but was too much of a coward to admit it? And so she ran away from her emotions. She ran away from Rachel.

She realised how selfish she'd been. In these 2 years she'd thought about Rachel every day. She'd often wondered if Rachel ever thought of her too. But until today, when she was told she'd 'broken Rachel's heart' she never really thought how much her disappearing could have hurt Rachel. She'd known Rachel would have been upset but in all honesty she believed that Rachel would have been her resilient self and moved on to bigger and better things. She honestly thought that Rachel would have gotten over her by now and although that hurt, she thought it was best for Rachel.

Her phone beeped again. She was expecting a message from Tracey. But it was from an unknown number.

'Can we meet?'

She knew it was Rachel the minute she read the message.

'Rachel?'

'yes it's me."

She wanted to say so much to the girl. She wrote the message 10 times before she cut it short knowing Rachel deserved to be told the truth in person.

'When is a good time for you? Q x'

'Tomorrow? Any time before 5'

'Morning? 10am? Shall I come to you? Helena told me where you're staying. I hope that's ok. Q x'

'Yes that's fine. I'll see you tomorrow'

'Thank you for seeing me, it means a lot. I'm sorry for everything. I truly am. Good night Rachel. Sweet dreams. Q x'

After she sent that message she never received another reply. She stayed awake most of the night. She was too excited, terrified and distressed to sleep. She was going to meet Rachel in the morning. As she looked at the clock she saw it was close to 3am. She got ready for bed and tried to force sleep. It didn't work at all she spent the night laying there thinking about what she was going to say.

She finally gave up on sleep at 7am. She got up, had a long shower, got dressed and did her make up adding more than usual to try to make herself more alive. Then she sat at her dining room table patiently waiting to go and see Rachel. At 9 am she decided she couldn't wait any longer and made her way over to Rachel's hotel. She found herself sat in the foyer at 9.30. She thought it was best to just wait rather than making Rachel angrier by arriving 30 minutes early.

At 9.55 she heard her name being called.

"Quinn?" She looked up to see it was Rachel stood before her. Dressed in jogging bottoms and a baggy hoodie, her hair tied up in a messy bun and no make-up. She'd never looked more beautiful to Quinn.

Quinn looked up and forced a smile in the divas direction, she tried her best to stop to tears from flowing and apparently failed as she felt a single tear roled down her face.

Rachel wore a poker face which made it difficult for Quinn to read the brunette. Quinn desperately wanted to hug the diva but Rachel made no move to make physical contact with her. Although this hurt Quinn, she was too scared that she would overstep any boundaries by making the initial contact.

"We should go back to my suite, if that's ok with you? It's a little more private." Rachel suggested.

"Yes of course, I'd like that." Quinn accepted

Rachel gestured for the blonde to follow her. The elevator ride was silent. Both to afraid to break the silence. Rachel led Quinn to her room. Once in the door way Quinn stood awkwardly waiting to be formally invited in.

"Come in, take a seat." Rachel indicated to the large sofa in her room.

Quinn did as she was told. Nervously playing with her fingers she sat at one end while Rachel sat at the other.

"Rach you look incredible, you were incredible last night! I'm so happy that I got to see you on your opening night." Quinn gushed wanted to say more but afraid to do so.

"Thank you Quinn. That's nice of you to say."

There was an awkward silence. Quinn wanted to flee; she was panicking, she didn't know what to do.

"I'm glad you enjoyed the show" Rachel added trying to fill the awkward silence

"Rachel I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I'm sorry if I hurt you by leaving I never meant to hurt you. You have to believe me!"

Tears left the brunettes eyes and Quinn felt the like she had been kicked in the stomach.

"Why?" was all the brunette managed to whimper out.

"I didn't want to hurt you. I was a mess it was better for you not to be around me. I would have only hurt you."

"And that was for you to decide! What's best for me? You didn't want to hurt me? So you left without even a good bye. You left without an explanation. You hurt me more than anyone has ever hurt me in my entire life." Rachel shouted through tears.

Quinn could feel herself breaking down, her breathing became uneven as she fought for breath. She spoke franticly through sobs and tears.

"I'm so sorry, it I thought I would have hurt you. I wouldn't have left without saying something. You have to believe me when I tell you I did it for you!"

"How could you think leaving without telling me wouldn't hurt me?!"

"I was too afraid to tell you face to face I was a coward, I thought you'd talk me out of it and then I'd have to tell you!" Quinn shouted out. As soon as she said it she regretted it. What was she going to do now?

"Tell me what?" Rachel bit back

"Rachel please I didn't mean to say that… I can't do this! Please don't ask me that, anything else just not that. I just can't."

"So you were lying to me. What did you do? You did something didn't you? You were keeping things from me!"

"I didn't do anything, I didn't lie to you, I just couldn't tell you."

"Yes you did! Tell me what you did!"

Quinn shook her head and cried uncontrollably.

"Tell me! You're lying to me! I've dreamed of seeing you for the past 2 years. Every single day I hoped you'd come back to me. I hoped you'd just contact me even if it was to tell me you were ok!"

"I thought about you too. Every day I think about you. I've missed you so much. You need to understand I had to go away. I did it to protect you."

"Then tell me what you did? Why you had to leave? If you didn't do anything was it me? Did I do something wrong?"

By now both women were on their feet, facing one another. Quinn took Rachel's hand in her own, relieved when the other woman didn't pull away.

"You did nothing, you were you, you were the most amazing woman in the world. You made me want to be a better person you made me want to be myself; you made me want to not hide anymore!"

"Did you leave because your… gay… did you think I wouldn't accept you? You know I would have, you know that it wouldn't make any difference to me!"

"I needed it to make a difference to you!" Quinn professed.

"What does that even mean? You were my best friend. Why would it make any difference to me that you are gay?"

"I was in love with you!"

_Next chapter half written, shall get back to it now! _


	13. Chapter 13

**_Sorry for the delay in updating. Works is crazy busy at the minute and also been busy with life. Will try to update at least once a week. More when possible._**

Rachel was sure she misheard. Surely Quinn didn't just confess that she once loved her. There was no way that Quinn Fabray could have loved her, Rachel Berry. Maybe this was some sort of joke, maybe Quinn was playing an evil trick on her, maybe their whole friendship was a messed up ploy to break her down one final time.

She didn't know how to react, what to say. She didn't really know what to expect from her meeting with Quinn. There had been tears, there had been shouting and then she's 99.9% sure the reason Quinn gave for disappearing out of her life was because she was in love with her.

She didn't mean to push Quinn quite so hard, but Quinn was holding back and she wasn't willing to let it go. Why should she. Quinn owed her answers.

Quinn had backed away from Rachel after her confession and was crying uncontrollably. Rachel wanted to comfort her more than anything but she couldn't trust herself to do so. Although she didn't really know what to say she knew she had to say something.

"You loved me… You loved me!" she shouted gesturing between herself and Quinn.

"I'm so sorry Rachel I didn't mean too. I couldn't help it. I tried so hard to ignore it. It just hurt so much to be around you. I couldn't continue to mislead you like that. I didn't think it was fair to be around you when I wanted more from you than I know you could give me." She confessed franticly.

"I don't believe you. I think you're making this up! You're tricking me again, you're lying to me!"

"How can you think that? I'm laying myself open before you and you think I'm lying, do you have any idea how much you mean to me?"

"So much that you left me and moved to another country, so much that you didn't bother to contact me for 2 years! You loved me so much that the sensible solution was to move away and sleep around? Making a name for yourself as a womaniser!"

She knew the minute she said it that she was out of line; she knew nothing about Quinn's love life. Only that Helena had implied that she was the first women to tame her. She had no right to make judgments about Quinn.

"I think I should go" Quinn confessed in a weak voice.

Rachel let her turn to leave before she placed her hand on Quinn's shoulder stopping her from moving.

"Quinn I'm sorry I had no right to say that. It just came out before I could stop myself. Please don't go. I'm sorry."

Quinn turned around and looked her in the eyes "It wasn't like that Rachel. I know people say shit like that about me, but it's not true."

"I'm sorry Quinn. I'm just finding hard to believe that someone like you could ever love some like me. You're beautiful Quinn. The most beautiful women I've ever met and I'm just me. "

"Please don't talk about yourself like that! I can't bear to hear you talk like that" Quinn seemed genuinely distressed at Rachel's words.

"I'm sorry… I just" Rachel tried to explain but was cut off by Quinn.

"The reason that people think that I sleep around is because I never see anyone for longer than a date, the reason it's never longer than that is because… they'll never be you! You are the only person that's ever made my heart speed up; you're the only person I've ever wanted"

Rachel was gobsmacked she couldn't believe what she was hearing. It couldn't be true. Quinn really thought of her in that way. This couldn't be right. What about Helena!

"Until you met Helena?" Rachel questioned. Praying silently that Quinn would say no.

"I don't know, I care about her. Helena is a good person. She's the first person that I've let in on that level in so long. I know this won't be easy to hear this as Helena's friend but the reason I gave things a go with Helena was because I knew I could never have you. I know that it's unhealthy to compare every little thing they did to you but I couldn't help it. I won't lie to you… "

"But you never even…" Rachel was ready to say she'd never been asked for her opinion. She was going to tell Quinn but then she got cut off.

"My initial attraction to Helena was because she reminded me of you a little. Please don't be creeped out by that. I know it's weird. As I got to know her I realised that I needed to move on. I needed to try being with someone and she's a good person and I promise you, I'd never intentionally hurt her." Rachel's heart broke as the words left Quinn's mouth. She wanted to stop Quinn and tell her.

"She really cares for you." was all Rachel could manage to get out.

How could this happen. Today Quinn confessed to loving her. She had a chance with Quinn, of course Quinn would have to work for her forgiveness, and she momentarily forgot the fact that Quinn had a girlfriend that Quinn was committed to someone else. She wanted to tell Quinn she loved her too. Maybe Quinn still felt the same, maybe they could learn to trust each other again, maybe they could build a relationship. But then there was Helena. Her friend Helena, How could she do that to her.

Helena knew. Helena knew that she loved Quinn. How could she ever face her again? She couldn't. It was that simple. She couldn't face her friend. Especially knowing that her friend knew she was in love with her girlfriend.

"I know she does. And I won't hurt her. I'm working on things, I'm getting myself sorted. I'm working on… on getting over you."

Rachel's heart shattered into a thousand pieces. This wasn't fair. How was she to respond to that? Quinn was working on getting over her. That was nice to know that the person she'd been in love with for years was moving on from her and putting her affection towards someone else. Without even fighting for her.

How was that fair. Quinn never shared any affection with her, not like she shared with Helena, she held Helena, she touched her, they shared sweet nothings. Rachel felt sick. She felt the bile make its way up into her throat. She ran into the bathroom and emptied the content of her stomach into the toilet.

Quinn followed her into the bathroom and placed her hand and Rachel's lower back and rubbed slowly. Offering support and sympathy.

"I'm so sorry Rachel. I think I should leave and give you some time."

Rachel didn't turn to look at Quinn.

"Please just go back and take a seat I'll be out in a minute. I don't want you to see me like this"

Rachel pushed the door closed behind Quinn and sobbed freely.

She loved Quinn, she really did. Quinn was obviously oblivious to this. She didn't know how to deal with any of this. She knew she couldn't tell Quinn how she felt but she also couldn't let Quinn just go.

After freshening up and brushing her teeth Rachel made her way back to Quinn. Quinn stood up as Rachel re-entered the room.

"I'm sorry about that" she said as she walked towards Quinn.

"It's fine, are you ok?" Quinn looked concerned.

"Yes I'm fine, I just got a little overwhelmed."

"I'm sorry for laying all this on you today. I didn't mean to tell you. I just couldn't lie to you anymore. I was hurting you anyway so I thought you'd appreciate the truth."

"Don't apologise for telling the truth. I'm just sad that you didn't tell me in New York, things could have been… really different" Rachel started to cry again.

She didn't realise what was happening at first as she felt a pair of arms wrap around her. She fit perfectly in Quinn's arms. Her head rested against Quinn's shoulder as Quinn ran her fingers through Rachel's hair and soothed her.

"I'm sorry if this is over stepping" Quinn asked in a fearful voice

"This is perfect" Rachel answered. Wrapping her arms around Quinn. Forgetting everything that was happening and holding on like her life depended on it. She let the tears fall more freely as Quinn soothed her and held her tightly to her body.

"I'm glad this is ok, I just couldn't bear to see you cry anymore without holding you."

Rachel forced out a smile and chuckled out "I'll remember that next time I need a hug."

"All you need to do is ask" Quinn replied sincerely.

Rachel looked up to see Quinn looking at her. She saw the love that filled the blonde's eyes. Quinn Fabray really did love her. Before she could stop herself she moved her hands to Quinn's face and let her fingers touch the smooth skin. Quinn was starting to look confused and then her pupils started to get big, Rachel could feel her body reacting to Quinn. Quinn moved her head to the side letting her lips touch Rachel's finger tips. Rachel didn't know what she was doing. She was mesmerised by the woman before her. She felt Quinn's lips part and a slight barely noticeable kiss was placed on Rachel's finger tips. Every fibre of Rachel's being sang at feeling Quinn's lips. She tried to stop the slight moan that escaped her lips but she wasn't successful. The moan seemed to bring Quinn back to reality.

She pulled away from Rachel, Freeing herself from Rachel's grip.

"Rachel… I never meant to do that, I."

"Shh it's ok." Rachel quickly intervened, hoping she hadn't ruined this for her and Quinn.

"I really think I need to leave now Rachel." the blonde said reluctantly.

Rachel looked deflated, Quinn quickly added "But I'd like to see you again. I mean if you want to, I'd like to be your friend again" if only she knew how much that word pained Rachel.

"I'd like that too."

Eventually Rachel let Quinn leave. She was apprehensive as she worried that once she did she'd not get to see her again. She decided she was going to keep her feelings to herself, Quinn was happy with Helena and she didn't want to hurt her new friend.

She hoped Helena still was her fiend. How was she going to cope seeing her tonight.

Rachel got ready for work and met with Shelby and Beth for lunch. Beth told her she was going to see Quinn for dinner. Rachel was a little but shocked that Quinn hadn't mentioned it earlier but was also relieved that Quinn was going to see the tiny blonde.

"That's great Beth. I saw Quinn this morning and you will happy to know that Quinn and I are friends again. So you don't need to worry."

"That's good Rachie, I'm glad she's your friend again I was worried she would make you sad."

Shelby looked a little confused at the conversation going on but was sure that Rachel would fill her in later.

After lunch Rachel said her goodbyes and made her way to work. She met with her other cast members and they discussed their opening night. Rachel received more congratulations and she gave them to her cast mates. She worked on a few scenes with her colleagues before she noticed Helena in the corner of the room. She ignored her for a while. Pretending to have not noticed her but then she made a sly glance and saw Helena looking back at her.

"Hi Helena" she greeted a little too boldly.

"Hey Rach, I hope you're feeling ok today?"

"Things are ok... If it's ok with you I would like to get to know Quinn again. As friends I mean, I just think that if we are going to be friends I need to sort things out with Quinn too." who was she kidding, obviously not Helena. She may as well of confessed her undying love for the women's girlfriend.

"Yes of course. That's nothing to do with me. Your relationship with Quinn has nothing to do with me."

"I just didn't want things to be awkward between us. You've been a great friend to me and I want to be that for you too."

"You have been Rachel. Don't worry." Helena looked sad and Rachel didn't know what to say,

"I've got to go, things need sorting before tonight, I'll see you later Rach" she said as she walked away.

Rachel didn't know what to do. Helena knew…she just knew. Maybe they were more alike than she realised. Maybe that's why she could see straight though her lies.

The show went without a hitch and Rachel was proud of herself for getting through it.

She got a taxi back to the hotel after signing a few autographs at the stage door.

She completed her nightly routine and quickly got into bed before checking her phone one final time. She saw she had a message her heart beat increased as she read it.

'Good night super star. Sweet dreams. Q x'

'Hope tonight went well with Beth. Sweet dreams to you too. R x'

'It went really well. She is incredible. She didn't stop talking about you all evening… she adores you! Must be in the Fabray genes… Q x'

Quickly followed by another message

'I'm sorry if that was out of line. Q x'

'No need to apologise. I adore her too. She's special to me… must be the Fabray genes! Sweet Dreams Quinn. R x'

She shouldn't have sent the message but couldn't stop herself from doing so. She was playing with fire and she knew it.


	14. Chapter 14

Quinn left the hotel in complete shock. She had nearly kissed Rachel. She really hadn't meant to do. She was pretty sure that Rachel was the one to make this first move. That couldn't have happened, it must have been wishful thinking and adrenalin running through her veins. What was she thinking? This wasn't how she expected things to play out.

Quinn made her way across town and found herself on Tracey's door step. Her friend wasn't too pleased to see her at first but Quinn had begged for forgiveness and told her what was going on; everything from the birth of Beth to leaving New Haven to get away from her feelings for Rachel. She confessed to Tracey the whole messed up history that she shared with Rachel - the bullying, the slushies, the pornographic pictures, the name calling, the boyfriend stealing, the car crash, the friendship and the heartbreak.

Tracey had been shocked and teased her for a while before Quinn had broken down in tears. Then Tracey had quickly changed to best friend mode and had hugged and reassured her that everything was going to be ok. Once Quinn had stopped crying Tracey tried to get confirmation of what was going on.

"So what's going to happen between you and Helena now?" she gave the blonde a reassuring look.

"I'm not sure. I should speak to her. I've not heard from her today and I thought I'd give her some time. She doesn't know that I loved Rachel. She just thinks I walked out on my best friend. I don't really know what to say to her. I don't want to hurt her."

"I walked in on her and Rachel hugging yesterday. I gave her a gentle warning. I thought she was cheating on you! Now I feel a bit stupid. I mean if anyone's gonna try to get into Rachel's knickers it's you!" Quinn flushed at the other women's comment.

"Trace please don't. I feel awful. They're really good friends. I hope they remain that way I don't want to ruin their friendship."

"Do you love her?"

"Of course I do. I told her I was trying my best to get over her, but I've been trying to get over her for years. I finally thought I was moving on with Helena but now I've seen her again I just can't help the way I feel. I can't believe I actually told her!"

"I meant Helena!" she professed.

"Oh… well, I'm not sure. I care about her. I think one day maybe I could. I want too. I just, she's not Rachel, and she'll never be Rachel. I didn't think it mattered until I saw Rachel again. I thought that I could move on and start off fresh with Helena. I know Rachel will never want me in that way I want her and Helena does and she's perfect for me. We could be good and now I've messed everything up. I wish I could just stop the feeling I have for Rachel but I can't."

The duo sat and talked for the rest of the afternoon. Quinn congratulated Tracey on her big break and told her how proud she was of her. However in all honesty she barely noticed Tracey on the stage she couldn't keep her eyes off of Rachel.

When Tracey had left for work Quinn had wandered back to Piccadilly Circus and sat watching the world go by.

It was time to go and see Beth before she knew it. She made her way to the rainforest cafe restaurant and waited for the Corcoran's to arrive.

Once Shelby and her daughter arrived they all exchanged quick hugs before their waiter arrived and took them to be seated. Beth had asked to sit by an elephant which the waiter accommodated. It felt good being in their presence. They made Quinn feel welcome. It was a strange experience for the blonde but a happy one. Shelby and Beth had happily invited her into their world with open arms and Quinn was very grateful for that. The first half an hour was very light conversation. Quinn filled Beth and Shelby in on her life since New York. Beth happily told Quinn about all her favourite things in the world. Quinn soon realised that Rachel was very high up on the list of Beth's favourites. "My favour film is Funny Girl, Rachel and I watch it all the time!", "I love strawberry vegan ice cream that's mine and Rachel's favourite!"

"My ballet teacher thinks I'm very good. That's because Rachel gives me extra lessons at home."

Quinn wasn't sure who she was jealous of more, Rachel for spending so much time with Beth or Beth for spending so much time with Rachel. But she knew without a doubt that she would be eternally grateful that they had one another. Beth adored Rachel, and of all the people her daughter could choose as a role model, Rachel Berry was the ideal candidate.

"You really love Rachel don't you?" she confirmed.

"I do Rachel is my favourite!" she said proudly with a big smiile.

Did you enjoy seeing Rachel in wicked Beth?" Quinn asked with a megawatt smile.

"It was the best thing ever! Wicked is my favourite musical and Rachel is my favourite star. She was wonderful!" the child beamed.

"What song was your favourite?"

"I really like defying gravity... It really highlights Rachel's vocal range." she stated matter of factly.

Quinn couldn't help but laugh. Her daughter had turned into a mini Rachel Berry.

"I asked Rachel about you the other day..." Beth confessed.

"You did huh?" Quinn was intrigued.

"I was worried that you might not be a nice person." Shelby looked shocked at Beth's words. Where would she get such an idea from? Shelby shot Quinn a reassuring glance. Although really she was slightly concerned about what Beth was referring too.

"Oh we'll that's..."

"You aren't though, just like Rachel said. I was just scared because I heard mommy tell grandma C that you made Rachie sad and I didn't want to be your friend if you did. Because I love Rachie."

Shelby mouthed a silent sorry to Quinn.

"Beth Hunnie I'm sorry that I hurt Rachel too. I really didn't mean to. She is an amazing person and I love her too! And I'm going to do my best to make it up to Rachel."

"Well that's good then. Maybe in the future we can all be friends."

Quinn smiled at the child's words. Her baby was so grown up and so much like Rachel.

"I'd like that too." She said hopefully.

The conversation flowed effortlessly between the trio. Quinn was mesmerised by the 5 year old. She was so grateful to Shelby for giving her an amazing life. Beth was healthy, happy and loved, what more could she want for her daughter.

"How long are you in town for?" Quinn addressed Shelby.

"We are here until next Sunday, then we have to get back to New York."

"Would it be ok if I see you both again while your both still in town?" Quinn asked Shelby.

"Of course that would be super" a smiley tiny blonde answered drawing Quinn's attention to her.

Shelby smiled at the child's eagerness and Quinn looked back to Shelby for confirmation. "Of course Quinn. That would be lovely. Leroy and Hiram are also arranging a meal for our last night here maybe you could come to that too. I'm sure Rachel would like it. "

"I'll check with Rachel but if she agrees that sounds great."

"She won't mind. She told me you're friends again. I like when my friends come round for dinner."

Over the next hour the trio enjoyed their dinner. Afterwards, Quinn asked if she could buy Beth a gift from the gift shop which Shelby agreed too. Beth chose a necklace with a monkey on it. When it was time to leave Quinn took it out of the bag and placed it around Beth's neck.

"Thank you Quinn I love it, it's so pretty." the child smiled.

"Why did you choose the monkey Beth?" Quinn asks.

"Monkeys are really cool. They are just like humans, but they don't talk and climb trees a lot. Mommy says I'm just like a monkey sometimes."

"Correction, sometimes I wish you were a monkey and give your mouth a break." they all laughed.

Quinn walked the Corcoran's back to their hotel before giving both women a hug. Beth saw Hiram and Leroy in the foyer and quickly said goodbye before running to greet them.

"Quinn thanks you for a lovely evening."

"Thank you Shelby... for everything. You are an amazing mother. Thank you for being her mom. It means a lot to me. Knowing she's safe and happy and loved so very much."

"Thank you Quinn for giving me the most beautiful child. She completes my world. I can't imagine my life without her. She's incredible. You should be so proud to have created such an amazing child."

"It doesn't take much to create a child. But it takes a wonderful mother to raise one so well." Quinn said sincerely.

"Thank you for saying that Quinn. I'm glad you think I'm doing a good job. I was wondering if you'd maybe want to keep in contact? Even after we leave. It's ok if not. I'd understand."

"Of course. I would love that. The only reason I was hesitant before was because I was afraid she would reject me. I didn't think I could deal with that. Now I know that's not an issue I'd very much like to be a part of Beth's life. I'd love to get to know her ."

"I'm glad you feel like that. I'd love for that too and I know Beth would. Do you think you'd like to spend some time with her alone while we are in town?"

"I would love to if that would be ok with you and with Beth?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes I think it would be good for you and her. I know she's only 5 but she's got a big heart. I think when I'm around she'll hold back with you a little. She doesn't want to hurt me by being with you."

"Shelby I'm sorry I didn't think." Quinn confesses guiltily.

"No need to apologise. I'm not hurt. When Rachel was little I wasn't able to see her and that was hard. I think in the long run it hurt me and Rachel greatly. I don't want that for Beth and you. I want her to know you."

Quinn pulled Shelby into her arms

"Thank you. Thank you so much!"

After a tearfully goodbye, Shelby promised to text Quinn to arrange another meet up. Quinn was excited and nervous about spending time with Beth on her own but more so excited. She vowed to see as much as her as she could while she was in town.

Quinn got home showered and got into bed she had no energy to do much else. She was tired from no sleep the night before but also emotional drained from the day's events.

As she lay in bed she couldn't help but smile as she played the day's events over in her mind. Rachel had not rejected her at her confession. They could still have a friendship. She had the girl back in her life and she was determined to keep it that way. Beth and Shelby had welcomed her with open arms. She couldn't have asked for a better day. She knew she shouldn't but couldn't fight the urge to send Rachel a message.

'Good night super star. Sweet dreams. Q x'

'Hope tonight went well with Beth. Sweet dreams to you too. R x' she got a kiss now that was progress on yesterday's messages.

'It went really well. She is incredible. She didn't stop talking about you all evening she adores you! Must be in those Fabray genes. Q x'

There was no denying that now she was shamelessly flirting with the brunette. She quickly sent another message to follow:

'I'm sorry if that was out of line. Q'

She promptly received a reply.

'No need to apologise. I adore her too. She's special to me… must be those Fabray genes! Sweet Dreams Quinn. R'

Quinn was a little shocked by the message. If she didn't know better than to think that Rachel was flirting back with her. She couldn't lie to herself she loved it.

Another message followed. She grabbed her phone eagerly excited to see what Rachel had to say. But she soon realised that the message wasn't from Rachel.

"Hi Q. How are you? I miss you. Are you free this week? H x'

Helena message brought her out of her Rachel Berry daze.

She needed to see Helena soon and talk about what was happening. Explain about Beth and Rachel. She just didn't know how to tell her girlfriend that she was in love with her best friend. Did she tell her even or did she give her a milder version of the truth. Either way she needed to get it over with.

'Hi H I'm sorry for not being on touch sooner. Had a mental day. Could we meet tomorrow day? I'm working in the evening but would like to see you. We need to talk.'

'yes I'm free until later afternoon. Will call by around 11.'

'ok fine. See you then. Good night.'

Tomorrow was going to be another interesting day that was for sure.


End file.
